Your gonna miss me when I'm gone

chapter 17

Chloe drove around campus yet again, searching for Beca. She barely kept her eyes on the road, instead keeping them peeled for anyone that resembled Beca. It was midday. That meant that Beca had been missing for nearly ten hours. Chloe tried not to think the worst, but after everything that had happened recently, it was hard not to.

She sighed and turned out of campus. Her phone was silent. After the discovery of the small brunette being missing, Chloe and Aubrey had rallied as many people as possible to help search for her. All the Bellas were out looking for her, as well as many of the Treblemakers. Even some of the BU Harmonics and the High Notes were helping. Chloe wanted to cry at how great everyone was being about helping them find Beca. They had decided not to contact one another unless Beca was found. Chloe kept praying that her phone would ring, but it was silent.

The police had shown them footage of Beca leaving the hospital. She had been careful to escape without detection as only one camera had caught her. It had shown a rather blurry image of the brunette in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants with no shoes. Apparently those were clothes that her parents had left in her room. Chloe was horrified to find out that Beca had close to no visitors. Not even her parents. Chloe, in her ignorance had thought that she would have a queue of people wanting to see her. Btu she hadn't. She had been all alone. Chloe had let her down again and had been selfish. She should have been there. She should have tried to help Beca right from the beginning. She felt ashamed to call Beca her friend. She didn't deserve that title.

Chloe had tried so many places. She didn't know what Beca would remember. She had tried all the shops, asking if anyone had seen her; but none of them had. She had tried all around the hospital, but to no avail. Finally she came to campus, even though it was where everyone else started. Maybe they might have missed her. Maybe. But no. Not even Kimmy-Jin had seen her. The Korean girl had asked if she could help at all which surprised Chloe. The girl had only ever shown hostility and now she actually seemed genuinely concerned. Chloe had asked that she stay in their dorm room in case Beca came back and she asked her to call her if she heard anything or found her. Nothing.

Chloe pulled over. She hadn't realised where she was until she looked up. She had come to the woods that she had taken Beca that one time. This place was so peaceful. Chloe remembered how happy Beca had been when they had come here together and she felt hot tears sting her eyes. She had been holding them back for too long. Now, with no one around, she let them fall freely. She had tried to stay strong in front of the others. She couldn't admit her feelings towards the other girl because Beca had no idea who she was. And probably never would again, according to the doctors.

It tore at Chloe's heart. Although Beca was alive and awake, she wasn't the same. What killed her the most was that the last thing that Beca would have felt towards the redhead was betrayal. Because Chloe hadn't believed in her and stuck up for her. All the other times she had, but that one time just had to be the time when Beca was in a fatal car crash. It seemed as if Fate was laughing at her sometimes. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to Beca.

Chloe's sobs finally died down. She looked up to the clock on the dashboard and saw it was nearly two o'clock. She had been crying for nearly two hours. And she felt it. Her eyes were now heavy, sore and tired, her throat ached and her body was stiff. She quickly downed the remains of the warm water bottle that was in her car. She felt suffocated in there now. She grabbed her phone and got out, revelling in the fresh, clean woody air.

After the current weather, there was an air of dampness. She could smell the wet leaves that blanketed the ground. She leant back against her car, letting her head fall back with her eyes closed. She was tired. She hadn't slept well since the accident. She hadn't been eating well either. Aubrey had been forcing her to eat when she was around, but when she wasn't, Chloe just couldn't be bothered to eat. It just seemed so insignificant now.

She groaned. Why was everything so hard? This was college. It was meant to be fun. Nothing had been fun lately. Chloe began walking into the trees. She needed to think. Where would Beca go? She didn't know anywhere. Chloe feared that she had hitched a ride with someone. If that was the case, then she might never find her again.

Chloe stopped in the clearing that she had shown Beca. She let the memories wash over her, remembering the awed smile of the other girl and the brightness in her eyes that Chloe had only begun to see when it was only the two of them. She wanted to cry, but there were no more tears. There comes a point in your despair where you can't go on. And Chloe Beale was reaching that point fast.

"Chloe?"

Chloe spun and faced a wide-eyed Beca. Was she hallucinating? Was Beca actually here? In their place? Had she remembered anything? Beca took a step closer.

"Chloe?"