Your gonna miss me when I'm gone

chapter 31

Beca couldn't remember being happier. Being with Chloe was a dream. Despite Beca's assurances, the older girl doted on her. Chloe rarely left the hospital now, staying with Beca, even sleeping in her bed with her. Part of Beca knew that Chloe was terrified that something could happen to her. That her heart would give out or something, but she knew that she was going to be fine. She had something - someone - worth living for.

The days following Beca's memories returning were some of the best that the brunette had ever had. It was one of these days when Chloe had to go to one of her lectures that Jesse came to visit her. Beca felt a lot more comfortable around him now that he knew that she was with Chloe. He made her laugh (despite the fact that it still hurt her quite a lot to do so), and on this particular day he had managed to persuade her to watch The Breakfast Club with him.

To Beca's surprise, she actually enjoyed it. When the ending came and Simple Minds' Don't You (Forget About Me) was playing, Beca broke down into tears.

"Beca! What's wrong? Does something hurt? Should I call a doctor?" Jesse panicked. He didn't even know that the small DJ even had tear ducts.

Beca shook her head which was buried in her hands. "I'm fine." She sniffled, feeling completely mortified at her reaction to it. The truth was, the song meant a lot to her. Sure it was the first time that she had heard it, but the lyrics really stuck a chord within her. After everything that had happened, she didn't realise how terrified she was to be forgotten. To not leave her mark on the world, or on anybody. And that song brought to life all of the emotions that she had felt when she had no memories and was confused about why people were not there for her at first.

Luckily, Jesse seemed to understand and wrapped a caring arm gently around her shoulders, allowing her to cry into his shoulder. He knew that she would deny that this ever happened, but for now, all he had to do was be there for her. He didn't quite know why she was so upset but he comforted her all the same.

...

Chloe hated leaving Beca. It wasn't that she didn't trust her, she just missed her. And there was a part of her that was terrified that something would happen when she wasn't there. And that was why Chloe was so grateful to her friends for helping her support the small DJ. When she couldn't be there, someone else would be. Fat Amy and Aubrey often came to visit. Today Jesse had offered. Chloe was still apprehensive about him because of his obvious crush on Beca, but since Chloe and Beca had come out as a couple, he had seemed to get the picture.

But that didn't stop Chloe from hurrying back to the hospital after her lecture. She was amazed that she had managed to keep on top of her work. Sure she had had extensions, but she hadn't needed to use them. She realised that she had found a lot of time to work when she used to just sit with Beca in her room.

When Chloe turned the corner in the hospital onto Beca's corridor, she was confronted with a fidgeting Jesse. Instantly, her panic spiked.

"Jesse! What's wrong? Where's Beca? Is she ok? What's happened?"

Seeing Chloe had seemed to make Jesse appear even more nervous than before. He hesitated before answering and Chloe swore that if he took any longer answering then she was going to hit him.

"No, no. Beca's fine. I think."

"What do you mean you think?"

He swallowed nervously. "Well, we were watching The Breakfast Club and all of a sudden she just started crying and kept repeating that she was fine. The doctors came in and said that all of her readings were normal, that it might be emotional stress catching up with her. But she wouldn't tell me. I thought I'd warn you so that you could ask her." Jesse looked at her with hopeful eyes.

Chloe's stomach dropped. Why was Beca crying? Beca rarely cried. Chloe was sure that she was the only one at Barden who had seen her cry. So what had made her cry in front of Jesse?

Chloe smiled in thanks, or tried to - it may have come out more like a grimace, but at the moment she cared little. Her main focus was to find out what was wrong with Beca. She approached Beca's room and entered, trying to be her usual bubbly self.

She knew immediately something was wrong.

Beca was engrossed in her laptop, headphones securely over her ears, and Chloe guessed by the movements of her hands that she was mixing.

Rather than disturbing her, Chloe let Beca continue, despite her curiosity gnawing away at her. In an effort to distract herself, she watched the younger brunette, marvelling at her. Beca's eyebrows would furrow as she thought, and her fingers moved swiftly over her keyboard. It was only when Beca stretched her neck to keep it from cramping that she noticed Chloe. Chloe wasn't ignorant to Beca quickly saving her work and then closing her laptop. The redhead tried to ignore the sting that came with Beca hiding something from her, but she hid it behind her smile.

"Hey you," she said softly.

Beca smiled, but something was off. It didn't quite reach her eyes. "Hey. How long have you been sitting there?"

"A while"

"Oh. Why didn't you say anything?"

"You seemed pretty preoccupied. I thought it would be best to leave you. What were you working on?"

Beca smirked. "You should know by now that I'm never too busy for you, Chloe."

Chloe smiled at Beca's sweetness, but she knew that her smile was a little off. Beca seemed to notice it too. For a moment, the two girls sat calculating one another. Chloe sighed, breaking the eye contact. She stood and made her way over to Beca's bed where she sat on the edge. She gently placed her hand on top of Beca's and looked into those deep blue orbs that could control her.

"Beca, I ran into Jesse earlier," Beca tensed, "he said that you had been upset. And you're acting a little weird. Babe, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine Chloe."

Chloe took her hand away, already missing the warmth, but the sting of rejection was stronger.

"You don't trust me?"

"Chloe, of course I trust you. I lo - it's just I can't tell you yet. But I promise that you that you will find out. Chloe, I promise."

Chloe sighed again. She knew she would get no more out of Beca.

"But you're ok? Emotionally and physically?"

"Yep."

"And you know that you can talk to me about anything? At all."

"Of course."

"And that I'm going to be here for you. That I'm never going to leave you."

Beca smiled, properly, and leant over and kissed Chloe. Again, the redhead was left breathless at how right it felt. How good a kisser Beca was. How perfect she was.

"I think you've proven that quite well, Miss Beale."