Your gonna miss me when I'm gone

chapter 34

Beca's breath caught in her throat as pain exploded in her chest. It wasn't the first time that this had happened and it was driving her crazy. She was two hours into her rehabilitation and she still couldn't manage to do the breathing exercise that she had been attempting for half an hour. The physiotherapist had told her that it was ok that she couldn't do it; that she wouldn't be able to do most of what she used to do. But this was taking the piss.

It was a simple breathing exercise that any singer was capable of doing. The session should have ended ten minutes ago but Beca still pushed herself. Finally, she managed to complete the exercise, but it left her winded and tired, not to mention in a lot of pain too.

"Well, after you were struggling with that last exercise at first I thought that you wouldn't manage it, but you proved me wrong. But you really shouldn't push yourself."

"But it was such a simple exercise-"

"Yes, but you are no longer capable of a lot of simple things, Beca."

Beca was quiet for a moment. Now, more than ever, she wondered why this had happened to her. Did she deserve it? Her voice was little more than a whisper when she finally responded. "Why?"

"My best guess is that the last time that you were resuscitated it might have had a larger effect on you than we had originally thought. The defibrillator often makes the patient experience chest pain, but with you that seems to be intensified. I'll talk to your doctor about that."

Beca didn't have a response. Her mind was slow with exhaustion, but she understood what the physiotherapist was saying. Dying really had taken the life out of her. She nodded and sat back into her bed, letting the exhaustion seep through her body and into her bones. She closed her eyes and heard the physiotherapist leave the room. She was concerned that breathing exercises took so much out of her, but she didn't have the heart to tell any of the Bellas yet. Not even Chloe.

Singing had made the redhead fall for the brunette and Beca was worried that Chloe wouldn't like her the same way afterwards. Beca sighed in frustration. This accident had made her increasingly self-conscious. She heard the door open again and quiet footsteps. She would recognise those footsteps anywhere.

Chloe crept to the seat and sat, never taking her eyes off the small brunette in the bed. Beca's features were relaxed and Chloe couldn't help but stare at the younger girl's perfect face. She couldn't believe that she and Beca were together after everything. How Beca had been the one to initiate the first kiss always gave her tugging butterflies whenever she thought about it. Chloe had bumped into Beca's physiotherapist on the way to see the brunette and she was thrilled to hear that Beca was actually making progress. She knew that in cases like this it could take years for a patient to recover. No wonder Beca was out to the count.

"You're staring Chlo." Beca's tired words brought Chloe out of her thoughts. She hadn't realised that Beca was awake. Beca opened her eyes and looked at the surprised Chloe. The redhead could see the exhaustion in her eyes. She frowned. Beca shouldn't be that tired after a physio session.

"Hey you." She said softly, gently grabbing Beca's hand, causing Beca to weakly smile. "How are you feeling?"

Beca closed her eyes again, as if having them open was too much effort. "Tired."

"How was physio?"

Beca hesitated. "Fine. Tiring."

Chloe knew that Beca wasn't telling her the truth. "Beca...?" she said in a warning tone.

Beca knew that tone too well. She should have known that she couldn't keep anything from Chloe. Sometimes she was sure that the redhead knew her better than she knew herself. She wouldn't be surprised. Beca sighed.

"It's difficult." She said quietly. "It's difficult not being able to do what I used to be able to do."

Beca's defeated tone made Chloe's heart break a little. She knew that Beca hated admitting weakness. She leant over and kissed Beca's forehead.

"I know it's hard, but I'm here Becs. Please let me help you."

Beca mumbled something.

"What?"

"I don't want you to leave me."

Chloe sat in shock. Beca must be extremely tired and self-conscious at the moment for her to admit this. She was still getting used to this vulnerable Beca, but she loved it. She loved how she opened up to her and nobody else.

"Beca, look at me," Beca's dark blue eyes opened and met hers. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. I love you."

Both girls froze. This was the first time either had uttered those three words. Chloe was terrified that Beca was going to panic and shut herself off. She sat staring wide eyed as the girl before her stared before her. Chloe was about to apologise and say that what she had just said didn't matter when a smile spread slowly across Beca's face. Beca brought her eyes up to meet Chloe's crystal blue ones. She pushed herself up, grunting slightly at the effort. She reached out and pulled Chloe to her by the back of her neck, connecting their lips. Chloe was taken by surprise. Of all the reactions that she had expected, this was not one of them. It took her a moment, but she responded, moving her lips against Beca's soft ones. It was a sweet kiss which she filled with the love that she felt for Beca.

Finally the two of them separated and remained a centimetre away from each other's faces. They stayed like that for a while before Beca spoke.

"Chloe Beale, I love you too."

Chloe's breath caught in her throat at hearing those words so softly spoken come from Beca's mouth. She had never thought that Beca would feel so strongly about her as she did about Beca. Honestly the thought made her insides feel like jelly. She couldn't stop the bright smile that was a result of Beca's words. She had definitely fallen, but now she knew that Beca was there to catch her.