MEMENTO

XII.

Snow still littered the ground, leaving murky puddles for Erica to trample through. Currently, her shoes left a trail of grey sludge beneath her bus seat as she examined them, realizing there was hole forming on the heel of her left boot.

God, she really couldn't afford to go shoe shopping right now.

Though it was too frigid to be traveling, Erica was on a bus to Philadelphia for her spring break, struggling not to jiggle her leg as the sensation of warm blood slicking her fingers ran through her mind on a loop. She could nearly feel her phone burning a hole in her pocket, screen lighting up with messages from Drew she knew she couldn't answer just yet. Not until she knew she couldn't hurt him.

"Have a safe trip!" he had written to her as she was packing the night before. "Wish I could've seen you before you left."

She didn't have enough time to sort out the jumble in her head, knowing Drew had already caught onto the way she would slither out of his grasp, scared to even touch him. He noticed every change in demeanor, she knew, as he was probably more in tune with Erica's emotions than she was. He was only waiting for the appropriate time to inquire.

She knew she shouldn't, but she read the message from Drew yesterday once more, smiling fondly. There was no humor in his message, a simple recounting of his last few classes, but she knew he could read her the ingredients off a box of cereal, and she would still be intrigued.

She could nearly picture the way his eyebrow quirked, or how his voice might get low and raspy in concentrating on the obstinate syllables. She shook her head, turning her music up and forcing her twitchy eyelids shut so she could finally get some rest.

*

"Sorry for the short notice," Erica remarked to her father after she tugged the passenger door shut behind her. Her father flashed her a reassuring grin as he pulled out of the spot, glancing over her shoulder.

"You know I'm always happy to see my daughter," her father told her, swiveling the wheel. "You're welcome home any time."

She didn't think his new wife would take as kindly to her presence, though.

"Is everything okay?" He knocked her out of her thoughts, causing her to focus her gaze back onto the road stretching ahead of them. "You seemed a little upset on the phone."

"Everything's fine," she murmured, voice sounding exhausted even to her own ears. She had been avoiding sleep as best she could, not wanting to see the gory image once more. "I just needed to get a break from campus food." At that, she released a forced, breathy laugh, praying it sounded genuine.

"I see." He glanced at her in his peripheral. "Well, we're having some ribs that Marina prepared tonight."

"Sounds delicious," Erica offered up, though she knew she was far too nauseous lately to keep food down. Whenever Cecilia invited her out to eat in the cafeteria, Erica would simply smash the food down into smaller pieces while Cecilia was eating and lie that she'd already had a large brunch two hours before.

However, this trick seemed to work less and less each time Erica utilized it. It was obvious she wasn't eating as her once pudgy cheeks grew gaunt and the bags beneath her eyes sunk lower.

"What do you plan on doing tomorrow?" her father inquired to make pleasant conversation. "Sleeping off school stress?"

"Actually, I was going to go into Philly tomorrow," Erica lied, having artfully crafted her plan. She would get her father to drop her off in Philly, where she would take a taxi to her mother's house. "I miss it."