Chapter 5

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Seokjin p.o.v

We were watching the Jimmy Fallon show on NBC a Friday night. Me and Jungkookie. It was almost half past eleven at night. We were just cuddled up close on the couch, eating late dinner, waiting for Taehyung to come back home from wherever he was.

I looked at Jungkook for a second, who had his eyelids closing off. I tapped on his knee.

"You better go to bed Jungkookie. He's not coming back tonight."

He opened his tired eyes a little wide and shrugged. "I'm not waiting for him hyung."

I squinted at him. "You aren't?"

He shrugged again. "No."

"Then what are you doin' here? You could've gone back home."

Jungkook looked wary. "You want me to leave, hyung?"

My eyes went wide with guilt. "Oh no Jungkookie, you can stay as long as you want. I won't mind."

Jungkook stared at me for a good long minute. Then he whispered, "Have you ever thought why I wouldn't leave?"

I didn't know what he mean. I shuffled on the couch to face him.

"Why?"

He again gaped into my eyes. Like there was an answer written behind my pupils. Then he pulled his gaze back and yawned. Stretched his limbs.

"I thought you know." He said getting up and gazing down at me.

"I-I wish I do." I stammered, reaching for his hand. But he pulled himself back in slow motion.

He sighed.

"Tae hyung." He said. "He never loved me. And I'm not an idiot not to see that. Maybe he liked me at the beginning. Maybe everyone did. But love gets old right? You get board of people when they're staying around too much of the time. They lose the value. People are not like fine wine. The older they get, the less they care."

I didn't know what he was talking about. Jungkook never talked like that. He had always been postive about most of the things. Even when they sucked in real life.

"I-I don't think that's true Jungkookie. I still value you, more than I did an year ago. M-More than you could e-ever imagine."

I found the last part a bit risky. Almost like giving away my secret. But Jungkook didn't seem to notice.

"Then why did it took you so long to realize that?" He whispered quietly. "Why did you do nothing about it?"

I stared at him, confused. What haven't I realized? What is he talking about?

Jungkook shrugged once again. Somehow his eyes looked tired than ever. Maybe it's because he's sleepy. Or he's actually dealing with a problem. The thing is, I couldn't understand what it was.

He didn't wait for an answer. He bid me good night and strolled off into Taehyung's room.

Now that was a problem. Jungkook just gave me a confusing speech about not realizing his value soon enough. I tried to put the pieces together but the sleepiness stood across it. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. I gulped it down and sat on a chair thinking hard.

Jungkook may not have realized yet that I give a value nobody else ever would have given him in his lifetime. It practically got me sick. Here I was chocking on petals in the name of his love. Which's gonna kill me at the end. Hanahaki patients don't last longer than a month or two. And it had already been two weeks. Still, I've done nothing. I let the time heal my wounds which I knew would never happen.

I started coughing once again. I didn't care whether Jungkook hear it or not. I was too tired running around like a crazy little bitch, trying to hide my illness.

And this time it felt strange. Despite the feeling of the soft petals, I could feel something slick seeping through my throat. It kinda mixed with the petals and flew out of my mouth. I squinted in the dim light to see what it was. But all I could make out was dark shadows. I waited till it comes to a halt and went over to switch on the light, holding my burning throat.

And I gasped. So loudly.

There were petals all over the kitchen floor, alright. But they were covered in blood. The stickiness I felt in my throat had been my own blood, coating the petals red.

I fell on my knees, tears brimming my eyes. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think.

Second pace. This must be the second pace.

The more I thought about him, the closer I neared death.

Jungkook didn't come out. He must've gone to sleep and I silently thanked the gods above for that. He would've questioned me right away about the petals and I would've automatically pushed myself into the third pace.

I knew my life wasn't gonna last. I knew that from the very moment Yoongi told me about the disease. It's not like I wasn't shaken up by the news. I was. I didn't wanna die so young. Nobody does. But, I had like zero choices. The three options could go to hell. I'm fighting on my own. Cherishing the plant inside me as long as I can.

I stood there for god knows how long, staring at the bloody petals. Long gone was the sleep for me. Instead an unknown fear started to build inside my chest. I could feel goosebumps on my arms as I thought about the time I've left to live. Maybe a couple of weeks. Maybe just a week.

Tears started pouring down as I sobbed silently. I cried, pressing myself onto the cold tiles of the counter walls.

I was busy crying my heart out, I didn't hear the soft click of our apartment door. I didn't hear a drunk Taehyung stepping into the kitchen and looking down at me.

Then he screeched, "What the fuck hyung???"

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