Grading Love (BoyxBoy)

18: Right When I Needed It

"Okeiii, now to answerrrrr... this! Problem!" she said, pointing at a number on the book.

I must be stressing myself too much.

I looked to my right at Joseph, he already finished solving for it and had already proceeded to doodle on the edges of his notebook.

Jose, on the other hand, was still trying to solve it but looked rather calm about it.

I'm the only one shuffling through the math book, trying to see which formula would lead me closer to the answer.

And then I caught my eye on one familiar theorem. Mental images of a math notebook with notes written in feminine writing flashed through my mind.

I solved a similar problem back on that Friday night with Harvey.

"H-Harvey..." I whimper to myself, making sure no one heard me. It's only been like, what – an hour and a half since we parted and I already want to see him again.

The problem was a piece of cake.

Thirty minutes left until training is over.

Mrs. Ferrari tested us with more problems and taught us trigonometry. She also introduced us to some formulas regarding triangles like the Angle-Bisector theorem and Stewart's theorem.

"Okeiiiiii, very good! John! Keep practicingggg!" she remarked, while making sure to have that 'growl' near the end of her statement.

I thought I finally understood this one problem, but it appears that I still got stuck. I couldn't figure out what formula would work best. I'd ask Joseph for help, but he already dozed off after solving another problem.

"You're supposed to draw another line from point D to F, that way you get two similar triangles you can work with. After that, Stewart's should do the trick." Jose took the initiative, and leaned closer to me. He brushed his finger across the given figure to show what he meant.

His chest was partly grazing my back ever so gently, and I could smell a scent of fresh melons from him. It was a different feeling compared to Harvey – who was always so robust and smelled like mint.

Jose gave off a really 'soft' and 'fluffy' aura –wait a second, what the f---

"Ah, I see. Thanks." I smiled. He also returned a warm grin.

Something wasn't right. Something didn't feel right.

Unlike Paul, Harvey, and all the more for Mark, Jose didn't seem like an alpha male to me, and in exchange, I felt it instead.

Oh, I just want to pounce Jose and –

NO! NO! NO!

JOHN D. AGATE YOU MUST NOT

NO YOU CANT

WHY WILL YOU

HAVE I BEEN HOLDING IT IN THIS WHOLE TIME

WHY WOULD I

I MEAN

I HAVE HARVEY

SURE I FEEL LIKE A BOTTOM BUT

WAIT IM A BOTTOM

WHAT

...

I wasn't even getting worked up over my problem-solving anymore. Instead, I was getting worked up over my pride as a male.

I won't try to deny it or make myself believe otherwise – I am more or less aware that Harvey is wearing the pants in our relationship, and I've been rather submissive all this time too.

But--!

I look over at Jose again.

I just noticed it now, but he not only has a mellow voice, but also a rather innocent-looking face.

How does it compare to mine!?

Slowly, my confidence began to dwindle. I had always felt pissed and sick of hearing comments like "you're so cute," but now I really want someone to tell me that right now.

Before I knew it, training ended.

"Well, I'll be off to the jeepney station, anyone coming with?" Joseph asked.

"I'm going there too, as usual," Jose replied, picking up his backpack. "John?"

"I'll be walking to a bus station not too far from here."

"Okeiiiii, you all stay safe!" she said, while emphasizing the 'f' of 'safe'.

The three of us said goodbye to Mrs. Ferrari and walked to the school gates together, but I proceeded west while Joseph and Jose went the other way.

"Take care!" Joseph said, waving.

"It was nice meeting you! Let's do our best for the regionals!" Jose remarked gleefully.

"Same here, see you tomorrow!" I waved back, and we went our own ways.

Fortunately, Harvey taught me how to commute for when it's past 5 PM and still avoid any oncoming traffic. I couldn't depend on him too much after all.

The whole Jose affair still bothered me.

All this time, I was glad that Harvey reciprocated my feelings, but I never knew why he did in the first place. Did I just happen to be there, someone who loved him wholeheartedly? Or would he have confessed had I not?

I've liked Harvey since our freshman year, but I guess I was only completely aware of these burning emotions a full year after – and that's a year late. I loved how he was kind and dependable. He helped me a lot during the first days of high school too.

But how about Harvey?

I don't recall doing anything so great for him, so I assumed he loved me because he wanted to be depended on, and maybe because I was 'adorable' or 'cute' as he would often say.

Then if he had met someone like Jose before I confessed, would things have changed?

My glum thoughts were interrupted when my head hit a metal post.

"Ow!" I said, and fell to the ground abruptly. I should have been careful and watched my way, instead of looking down at the floor and filling my mind with the most pessimistic ideas.

"You okay?" Harvey said, pulling me up.

"Yeah, it's just throbbing a little – wait, HARVEH!" I tackled him, and he almost stumbled backwards.

"Whoa, hi," he said as if he was here the whole time.

"Were you waiting?" I asked as I realized he was still wearing his school uniform.

"Oh my dad asked me to stop by the grocery store for some kitchen necessities, so I didn't go home right away and decided to wait for you once I finished the errand."

I was already flustered just hearing that he decided to wait a little longer for me.

"Geez, Harvey," I exclaimed, trying to rid myself of the embarrassment (and bliss) I was feeling. "Let's go get that ice cream promo, come on!" I began to eagerly pull his arm and lead the way.

"Ahaha, do you want ice cream that much?"

"It's ICE CREAM for heaven's sake – of course I do!" Especially when it's with him.

"You're so cute," he suddenly said, and I notice he started looking off the distance. "I mean, just a little bit. Sometimes, I suppose." He quickly added, before looking away, hiding his face.

My eyes widen at his remark, and a smile slowly forms across my face. Is he blushing?

It's amazing how you always manage to say things that make my day.