Jake Webber x Johnnie Guilbert ||• One-Shots •||

Its Not Fair

(TWs: hair-pulling(?), self-harm, suicidal thoughts/successful (?) attempt)
I think this one is gonna be a longer one

Btw- anything i publish on wattpad goes onto Ao3 aswell :)

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Summary:
Johnnie experiences a very bad mental breakdown also leading to a manic episode. Jake soon finds Johnnie... Lets just say he was not in a very good state....

'It wasnt fair. It really wasnt. Why couldn't he just be normal? Thats the only thing he wanted. Its the only thing hes ever really wanted to be honest. Why was happiness a restricted thing to him...

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"Johnnie, im heading out to hangout with the others." Jake peeked his head in through Johnnies door. "Oh.. werent we meant to film together today?" Johnnie was visibly upset. This wasn't the first time this happened. Jake covered his mouth "oh shit your right".. "But we could always do it tomorrow. Right?" He smiled. "Oh yeah for sure"

'No actually not for sure. I dont really know if there even will be a tomorrow at this point' He thought to himself, but smiled at Jake anyway - pushing away hus own feelings.

Jake simply flashed a thumbs up and quickly ran out of the house.

And Johnnie sat there... He sat on his bed staring at the door where Jake stood less than 10 seconds ago. At this point hes even questioning if hes still Jakes best friend. He felt lonely. He felt worthless. He felt empty. He didn't really feel anything.

He was pulling at his hair. Infact he was pulling so hard, he had chunks of black, dead hair in both of his hands. It hurt. But it didnt hurt him in a bad way. It was almost relieving to him. And he did the same but this time hitting his head on the wall repeatedly.

And he could feel a bruise forming already. But he didn't want to relapse. He would do anything but that. It would be years of effort put to waste. And of course it had to be as soon as he thought hed started getting better.

That was it.
Jake helped Johnnie.
Jake helped Johnnie be happy.
Jake helped Johnnie not harm himself.

But now that Johnnies 'better' Jake doesn't need to help him. He doesn't need him. He never needed him. You dont deserve him.

The voices wouldnt shut up. 'you dont deserve him' 'hes too good for you' 'you ruined his life' 'your just a burden to him, nothing more'

It all happened so fast. He screamed, and screamed. He screamed so loud his head hurt. And then he slammed his head on the wall one last time.

And it all went black.

Jake came back home. It was pretty late. Definitely just about midnight. He didn't get drunk because he still had to drive back home and it was cold. He didn't want to have to get an uber. Also, it just didn't feel like a 'drinking day' for him. I dont know. Its just Jake Webber what do you expect?

Anyway, he hung his coat on the coat hanger thing by the front door. The only other thing he had on him, was his phone. So he held that and walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a can of Monster. He smiled as he took out his favourite flavour and he closed the fridge.

He turned around and walked towards the couch to sit down on it (obviously). He opened his can of monster and took a sip. He stared at the tv. It wasnt on or anything, he was just staring at it. Soon enough, he realised it was too quiet. Usually Johnnie would be greeting Jake: 'Hey, how was it?', or, 'howd it go?'. Whatever.

Maybe he was asleep? That was a Johnnie thing to do, right?
He should go and see whats up. So he stood his can on the little coffee table and he stood up (also leaving his phone behind).