Miracles and Sins

Chapter 19

Imogen

𓇢𓆸

"I... I can't sleep."

He immediately scooped me up from the floor and brought me inside his room. He carried me gently and placed me in his bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked. His voice was so gentle. Like talking to a child. He covered me with his blanket and stayed close while caressing my back.

I just sobbed. I feel like it's so immature to wake up someone, in the middle of the night, just because I am having nightmares and I am scared of being alone. I tried to control my breathing, but I can't. I ended up gasping for more of it.

"Breathe, brave girl. Breathe. Inhale... Exhale..."

"Take a breath with me. It's okay." his words are works like magic to me.

"That's it. Good girl. You're doing great." after I calmed down a bit, he's asking me again.

"What's wrong, brave girl?" he asked,

"I am not brave." I sat up while saying it using my hands. Both are also shaking.

"Hmm." naiyak nanaman ako. I shouldn't be bothering him at this time of the night. It's late. Tumayo ako para sana umalis na pero pinigilan niya ako.

"Where are you going?" pagtatanong niya habang nakahawak sa kamay ko ng mahigpit. Itinuro ko ang direksiyon ng kwarto ko. Marahan niya akong hinila pabalik sa kama niya.

"You're not going anywhere." Keenan said. He tucked me under the blankets again. Ihinarap niya ako sakaniya. "You're staying here until you tell me what's going on."

I just stared at him and he did the same. His green orbs staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

Itinuro ko ang nakita kong cellphone sa nightstand. "You want to use it?" tanong niya. Tumango naman ako bilang sagot.

I swiped through his phone and open the notes application. Doon ko inilagay ang gusto kong sabihin sakaniya.

"I can't sleep. I'm having nightmares. I'm scared." I gave him his phone back and he read what I typed just now.

Huminga siya ng malalim habang nakatitig sa akin. Inayos niya ang kumot sa banda niya saka siya humiga. He's now lying beside me, facing to my direction.

"Come here." He opened his arms, waiting for me to get near. I cried. Again. I don't care if i'm being a crybaby right now. I just don't want to be alone. He pulled me gently to give me a hug. He's caressing my back, while I was crying on his chest. Humiwalay ako sa pagkakayakap dahil may gusto akong sabihin. Umupo ako sa harap niya habang patuloy pa ring tumutulo ang mga luha galing sa mga mata ko.

"Why does it happen to me of all people?" he intently watched the movement of my hands. I was using the sign language just now.

"Why can't I protect my father? I let him die." I couldn't help but to blame myself. I was just standing right in front of him, why can't I save him that night? Wala manlang akong nagawa para sagipin siya.

"It's not your fault." Keenan said. Umupo rin siya at humarap sa akin. "Don't blame yourself, Imo. It is never your fault." he softly patted my head, and pulled me for a hug again. Na nagpaiyak nanaman ulit sa akin.

My emotions are all over the place. Sadness, fear, regret, anger.

"It's okay, lovely. I'm here... it's okay to be scared." he whispered while wiping away the tears from my eyes.

"I'm here..." he planted a kiss on my forehead and cheeks before cuddling me again. He continues to caress my back until I felt that my eyes are getting heavy. I can hear his soft breaths and his heart slowly beating against his chest.

His bed smells good. He smells good. And it's warm... like him.

"I'm here... You're safe... It's okay..." he softly whispered before I drifted to sleep.

Who would have thought that this man who have killed countless people, is the same man who's giving me comfort and assurance. The same man who's capable of being gentle, despite living in harsh conditions of his world.

Morning. I felt a strong arm around my waist and something warm against my back, it's preventing me to move. Saka ko lang naalala na hindi nga pala ako sa kwarto ko natulog kagabi. Nag-init ang tenga ko nang ma-realize ko kung sino nga ba ang nasa tabi ko.

I never slept with anyone like this in my whole life, okay?!

I turned around slowly at bumungad sakin ang natutulog na mukha ni Keenan.

I can't deny that he really look so good upclose. He's got a nice set of brows, his eyelashes are thick and long. His nose is pointed, and don't get me started with his lips. Wala akong makitang kalait-lait sa mukha niya.  He already shaved his facial hair too. He looks more mature when he doesn't shave it though,

"It seems like you're enjoying it." natigilan naman ako ng bigla siyang nagsalita. He's awake! Is he awake the whole time that I was staring at his face?!

Kaagad akong tumalikod at sinubukang alisin ang pagkakayakap niya sakin pero hindi ko ito maalis. He even pulled me closer to him. He's too strong! He's a big guy, kaya kahit anong gawin ko ay hindi uubra sa lakas niya.

I tried wiggling my way out but before I can even free myself-

"I am going to stop wiggling, If I were you, Imogen." he cleared his throat before saying those words. It sounded like a warning,  pero hindi ako nakinig at nagpatuloy akong gumawa ng paraan para makawala sa bisig niya.

"You have to stop, Imogen. I'm telling you." he warns me again.

Nope. I'm not listening. There's no way that I'm going to show him my face after getting caught.

"Imogen, I swear to fucking god... you have to stop moving." he gritted his teeth. That's the time that I felt something hard on my back. I immediately froze after realizing what it is.

"I already told you to stop moving, you little tease." he muttered under his breath.

He released me from his arms. He stood up, without leaving his blanket behind. I almost forgot that HE is a man. Of course he has that! Bad, Imogen! Bad! Bad! Bad!

"I'm taking a shower. Let's meet during the breakfast." saka ito naglakad papasok sa banyo nang hindi manlang ako nililingon.

I on the other hand, was left in his bed, with my face buried in one of his pillows.