Lost Stars

PROLOGUE

You go to a bar to meet random people or much better to have a bottle of vodka as a companion.

I've been a stranger to places like this for almost five years since my husband was diagnosed with cancer. We actually met in a bar; he was a bartender which happens to be one of his bucket lists in life. It would take a whole day if I tell you all about his bucket list so I will just save that some other time.

I choose a quiet bar because I don't want to engage myself into those set up where teens are making out on the table, vomiting in the bathroom and putting drugs on their drinks. It's not my kind of scene anymore. For Christ's sake I'm 39.

I sat by the edge of the counter and looked at the bartender inside who was then busy pouring brandy and cola in a shot glass. He seems bored with his job even though he looks young.

I gazed at the person beside me. He's busy chatting with someone on the phone talking about his vacation in Florida.

Why am I here? It is partly because I miss Will and partly because I want to have a good sleep tonight.

Skye is with my sister overseas for his vacation. I can't believe that he's already nine years old. We both had a hard time taking care of his father but I was surprised by how strong my son was. He even insisted that he will start school, months after Will departed. Now, we both need this vacation after 24 months of recovering. We are still sad but somehow we managed to let him go.

I ordered beer. I've always been the beer kind of girl. Only now as I said, I'm older.

I heard a familiar song, so I glanced at the band on the stage playing "Lost Stars". They were singing it in a very mellow tune that makes me want to crawl up to my bed and sleep.

I drank my beer and it comfortably stings my throat. I found myself closing my eyes savoring its cold bitterness.

I felt someone bumped into my shoulder cutting off my reverie and I have to see who it was.

"Sorry." Says the man beside me while fixing his coat and was about to leave.

It wasn't intentional anyway and besides his aura looks a little attractive with his boyish smile and a pair of hazel eyes.

"No worries." I replied and drank my beer again.

He walks out of the bar with both of his hands inside his black trench coat pocket.

I am planning on drinking two bottles more before calling it a day. I don't intend to stay here longer. I still want to take a long walk outside. I checked my time, it is a little after eleven. The song was about to end when I remember something about it.

I watched the band again and I noticed that it's only me and the other man sitting among all these chairs on the counter. We are two seats apart and was busy watching the band too so I can only see his back.

The bartender gave him the brandy he was preparing a while ago and without any other movement than his hand, he picked it up and drank it in one shot. Looking at those empty glasses beside him, I'm guessing, he wants to kill himself.

I remember when I was younger; I used to laugh at these kind of people for spending time and money getting drunk because of some lousy problems about their lives, I laugh harder with myself because I'm actually one of them too. But that was long ago, I can't even recall where I spent my first time getting drunk.

God, I'm really getting old after every tick of the clock. I just want to drink now for a good sleep and wish that I will wake up tomorrow without a bad hangover.

I secretly laughed at myself again.

The song ended the same time I finally recall the thoughts I had seconds ago.

I ordered another beer.

The thing about memories that I hate is that it slowly kills you from within. I hated it the moment I begun to be a rational earthling. I forget things every now and then but more often than not, it floods my mind. Books, movies, lyrics, people, experiences, name it, it's as if my brain can store everything more than it should have.

The bartender was about to give me the beer when the only man with us in the counter called him.

In a split of a second before my brain actually tell me who I remember with the song that was played, we simultaneously glimpsed at him. He stared back straight into my eyes and my heart beat changed.

You go to a bar to meet random people or much better to have a bottle of vodka as a companion. You don't go to a bar to meet someone from your past that actually holds a special place in your memory.

Seconds after our eyes met, clearly knowing that we never forget each other's faces after all these years, I've decided to sit at the empty chair on his right.

His eyes never left mine. My heart beat might be in shock now and I'm just glad he can't feel it.

"Allen."

The name swept off my tongue like it was the very first word I said when I was a baby. It's supposed to be a greeting but it sounded like I'm a teacher doing my roll call.

He smiled at me but I felt like it took him efforts doing that. He grew older too as I noticed the changes of his features, his messy hair, brown expressive eyes, thin lips, his dark green shirt and rugged jeans.

"Hi." He said finally.

God! That voice gave me chills that made me drink a mouth full of beer. I heard him chuckle on my reaction. I stared back at him sending a question through my eyes asking "What's funny?" His smile faded as he took my beer and drink from it.

"It's been a long time." He sighed but managed to smile again.

"It is. So what's with all of these?" I tilted my head pointing to those glasses on the table. He stared at them.

"I had a rough day Hansel." He answered and set another sigh.

"Tell me about it." I asked.

I waved my hand on the bartender asking for another two bottles of beer. He nodded.

"I don't know where to start. I don't even know if this is real, that you of all the people is sitting beside me right now." He said.

His voice always captivates my ear. I can tell that until now, it never changed.

I smiled and touched his arm. His warm skin welcomes my palm but it sends shivers throughout my body that only I can feel. He still has the same effect on me.

"Me either, if you're trying to tell me that I'm just a hallucination, then suit yourself." I sarcastically said.

His smile widens and he seemed to feel a little better now. I know he is not fine. He never drinks like this as far as I know and he hates bars too.

A lot of things never stay the same but I don't care about those things tonight.

"Alright, I believe you, how's life has been for you?" He brushed his hair with his hand and the bartender came with our beers. I immediately took a gulp.

"So, you want me to start?" I shove him a threatening gaze.

"Suit yourself." he mimicked the words I've said a while ago.

"It would take time." I felt nervous partly because I hate talking about my life, and partly because the person beside me is him and he isn't just any random people.

"Believe me, I have all the time in the world Hansel." He assured me but I felt something different as the way he said it.

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