Last Fall Of Blossom

Chapter 1

First day pa lang sumasakit na ulo ko MY GOD..
As what I expected bagyo ang strand na napili ko!!

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes you can ma'am " taliwalas sa aking nararamdaman, shit oo madaldal ako pero pag gantong pa ask a question nanginginig tuhod ko!!

"So you are from a far province right? Why did you choose this school for your senior years?"

"Ahh y-yes ma'am I'm from a far province, however I-I choose this because th-this is what my heart desires, the system of this school amazed me since it is known for its achievements" nako po utal utal na si Ante

Tumango si Ms. A sa sagot ko, sana naman satisfied siya kasi kahit nanginginig kalamnan ko I managed to speak the truth why I came here...

Pambihirang first day of school to, akala ko  ba orientation lang mangyayari meron na pa lang hinahandang bomba yung mga nagtitigasa't matatalinong mga Guro.

Pauwi nako galing school, I look above and I saw the beauty of haze, the color of pink and orange mix which creates a wondrous art. I love the effects of sunset, besides it's delicate art it resembles that another day ends and there is a new tomorrow to face. I do hope that it will do good for me.

Naglalakad lang ako dahil hindi naman kalayuan sa inuupahan kong bahay tsaka I love walking because it is the time where I could think of everything like looking back to the past or looking forward for my future. The sounds that makes the city noise is like a music to my ears too but nothing bets my province, I miss the peaceful environment, I miss my home, I miss my family, my friend and him.

Nang naka balik nako sa tinitirhan ko, sa pag bukas ko pa lang sa kwarto na kita ko si Luze nakahiga lang sa kama...

Isa pa to sumasakit ulo ko, yung feeling na you are so drained from school tapos ganto pa bungad mo, ang kalattt... Papel doon, damit dito tsaka yung sahig hindi man lang winalis ang daming hair strand GODDD!!

Hindi na lang ako umimig kasi sino lang ba ako, kumpara kasi sa kanya mahina ako pagdating sa labanang gamit ang matatalim na salita. I am so weak emotionally and mentally and that's one of my flaws.

"Luze, nag saing kana?"

"Not yet, ikaw na lang pagod ako ehh" that, that's one of my rants, she is very lazy kahit paghuhugas nang pinggan ako pa, ako na lang lahat nakakapanghina ng loob.

"Sige" mahina kong sabi

Tinapos ko lahat ng gawain tapos nag aral na rin para maging ready para bukas, mabuti na yung meron kang panlaban sa mga armas ng mga guro ano. Buti na lang may nag invent ng Google naka ka advance study ako kahit pa paano.

____________________________

Kinabukasan, ay bagong araw na naman para harapin ang responsibilidad bilang estudyante, ganon pa rin si Luze ako pa rin gumagawa ng lahat lahat. Hayy nako sana naman soon pag nakaluwag luwag  ako maka renta ako ng sarili kong kwarto kasi gusto ko nang lumipat..

Pag upo ko sa upuan, may kumalabit na agad sa akin....

"Yarie can I ask you a question?" putchaki kay aga-aga tanong agad wala bang pa break diyan.

"Yes of course, ano yun?"

"Diba you are from province, aren't you poor?" the question pierces through my heart.

"A-ahh oo, bakit masama bang maging mahirap?" nanghihinang sagot ko.

"Not really. Bye!" paalam niya

Yes I am poor, not totally poor to the point that we can't eat three times a day but there are times that we struggle for financials, isa na ito sa mga rason kung kaya nagda-dalawang isip yung magulang ko sa desisyon kung mag aral dito buti na lang nakilala ko na siya.

Huminga na lang ako ng maluwag, alam kung paaralan to ng mga mayayaman pero sana naman hindi kabaliktaran sa kagandahan ng paaralang ito ang mga mag aaral na nag-aaral dito.

Yun ang akala ko..

Lumipas ang mga nagdaang araw. Isang buwan na rin akong nag aral dito. May mga nakilala akong matuturing ko na rin bilang kaibigan pero meron ding hindi. It's hard to fit in with the people who have no space for a person like me.

"I am thankful that I choose this strand because this specialized this subject, because it will help me as a person who experience mental problem to enlarge my knowledge on overcoming my silent battles" I said feeling the tightening sensation that my heart struggles, wiping the tears rolling down my cheek.

"I am being judged as a person na may problema sa pag iisip without them knowing my struggles,  isang buwan, isang buwan akong parang wala sa sarili nabubuhay lamang para umiyak, they even called me crazy. That's why I choose to distance myself from my used to called home, to find solace in this place, to find myself and to have independence on developing myself for my own growth. For my life to be safe from the cruelty of judgemental eyes from the place that suffocates my childhood, and from the place who tainted my identity much useless than a biodegradable garbages"

Silence enveloped the classroom  as I open up my subtle experiences. I don't know why something pushed me to share my story to inspire someone within the room.

Pero sana...

Sana hindi na lang..

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