all we can do is keep breathing

seventeen.

make it whole again.

||✚||

Time is such an odd and peculiar thing. He's thought about it before, he's sure. In fact, He's probably reflected upon the concept a million and one times before, but yet it still feels strange that a single second can be made to feel like a stretched-out eternity while somehow on the same plane of existence, hours can pass in what could only be described as an instant.

Harry has felt the strange, confusing effects of both peculiarities in his life, but never has there been a time when the consistency of the clock has been so misconstrued in his mind. Seeming to slow down and speed up at will, crawling by in painfully slow increments, while also jumping from hour to hour in a rushed blur, holding him at the mercy of the ticking clock for the past nineteen hours.

Starting at 8:34 A.M. when Harry first settles down in the waiting room, joined by Liam supportively at his side. Together they talk and talk, Liam serving as the perfect distraction for Harry's thoughts. Harry talks himself in circles, essentially telling Liam his entire life story from birth just to keep himself active and occupied. But Liam, with his kind eyes and gentle demeanor, has a way of making Harry feel so comfortable, listening to every last thing he says like it's the most fascinating thing he's ever heard. Harry talks himself nearly to death by 12:13 P.M. and that's when it becomes Liam's turn to spill his side. And if Harry thought he could talk, it's nothing compared to the way Liam can, but Harry welcomes it all fully, enjoying every minute of conversation and company with him.

At 2:32 P.M. Harry gets up to take a little walk around the grounds, legs feeling as unsteady and weak as stilts, but the movement feels necessary. Liam of course comes along, giving Harry a new route around the hospital that he's never been on before, but actually quite likes.

They're back in the waiting room by 4:18 P.M. and Liam decides that Harry needs to eat something, despite Harry's continued refusals. Liam runs off to get him food anyway, returning only twenty minutes later with deliciously smelling food for the both of them that Harry can hardly look at, let alone stomach, but he's continually grateful to Liam regardless.

Around 5:49 P.M. Harry just can't take it anymore and he breaks down and cries, releasing some of the accumulating uneasiness rising up inside him. Liam holds him the entire time, and by the time 7:56 P.M. rolls around, Harry is balled up so tightly around Liam, he might as well be in his lap. Spending an entire day with Liam in the close capacity that they've been in, has been like some kind of accelerated relationship building, to the point where Harry basically trusts Liam with his entire life.

9:27 P.M. is when Harry closes his eyes only to wake up at 9:32 P.M. thinking it has been hours and wishing that he could somehow sleep right through all of this. He's completely exhausted and he would sleep if he could find a way to sleep. A way to push everything else aside and grant his body what it so desperately craves.

At 10:28 P.M. Liam brings him fresh coffee, which helps a little; Harry focuses his delirious attention on the sensation of the warm liquid warming up his throat. But moments later at 10:43 P.M., a wave of anxiety comes over him stronger than Harry's ever known and suddenly he can't stop thinking about what Louis might be doing in this exact moment, what step of the procedure he's on, what his thoughts look like, what his fears look like.

Can Louis tell if she's going to make it? Can he predict the outcome based on what he's already done so far? What has he done so far? Is she even stable right now? What are her vital stats like? What if she's already dead and no one has the heart to tell him yet?

It's a downward spiral of anxious thoughts and vexed fears, but somehow Liam combats them all with calm, reassuring answers, talking Harry through every last one of his uncertainties. And Harry swears to god, that he doesn't know what he would have done all this time without Liam sitting patiently by his side, knowing exactly when to talk and when to be silent. He can't imagine spending this entire time alone with his own demons and he thanks every single guardian angel that he might have for sending him Liam Payne.