Torchwood One Shots

Weevil or Movie Star?

I promise the title makes more sense with context : ) 

There had been a nasty Weevil attack, right on their very doorstep believe it or not, but thankfully no one had been seriously hurt. There were a handful of very confused passers-by, and it wasn't going to be easy to slip them all some retcon. So Jack and Ianto had to revert to more traditional methods - lying through their teeth. Of course, they had been smart enough to agree a story first - they weren't falling into that trap.

"It's a movie set." Explained Jack, for what felt like the millionth time. "The creature was just a person with prosthetics, move along please. We're trying to shoot."

"Oooh, what film is it?" Asked the woman, who was a 'bit' of a film nerd.

"That's not important right now, we're on a budget. We've only got tonight in this location, and we need you to move on."

"I don't see any camera crew?" Said the woman, craning her neck to check.

"Yes, that's cause they're...around the corner" said Jack. "They're shooting a different scene right now, and we were just rehearsing here, so we're ready in a few minutes to film. So please, move on." There were more holes in this story than in a piece of Swiss cheese, but luckily for Jack, the questioner shrugged and moved on.

He thought he was in the clear, until a man approached him.

"It's filming, you say? I haven't heard about any filming tonight? You do know, all filming and resultant closures of public ground must be cleared through the council first. You have cleared it, haven't you, young man?"

Jack rolled his eyes at the man's condescending tone, and cast a glance at Ianto to see if he was fairing any better.

The Welshman was explaining the plot of the so called film to a very curious young woman.

"And then.."

"Oooooh! And then do the Zombies destroy Alaria and Orren? And they're coming for their families next?" She interrupted, excitedly.

"Yes, exactly." Said Ianto, who hadn't had to do all that much inventing himself - the woman seemed quite happy to do it herself.

"I knew it! Oh, I'm so good at guessing plots!!"

Ianto nodded.

"So, when can I see it?" She asked.

"Should be out in the next year." Ianto made up, and the woman smiled and turned away.

"Maybe I'll come back tomorrow! Then I can meet the cast!"

Ianto plastered a smile on his face and waved her off, sincerely hoping for her sake that she did not return the next day. Then he turned to the final person in the gaggle who had been crowding him, awaiting answers.

This was a young man, and he looked very confused.

"Err...you speak Welsh?" He muttered, speaking English hesitantly and with a thick Welsh accent. Ianto was more than a little surprised - it was very rare to meet someone who knew Welsh better than English.

"Yes." Ianto answered in Welsh.

"What's going on?" Asked the man, sounding much more comfortable in the language.

"Film set." Said Ianto.

"But what was the creature? Those were no prosthetics....and there's no camera crew." The man pointed out.

"I'll tell our prosthetics team. They'll be honoured." Replied Ianto with a smile, "and as for the camera crew, well, they're round the corner, filming. This was just a rehearsal, we're going to shoot it soon." He added, repeating the story he and Jack had devised earlier.

"Stop lying to me. I've been around the corner. There's no camera team." The boy's voice had taken on a distinctly aggressive tone, and Ianto took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Are you sure you went around the right corner? They're definitely here."

"Tell me the truth." Said the boy, properly angry now. He had stepped forward, and Ianto could smell the alcohol in his breath.

There was a glint in his eye, as he held up his fist. It was scarred, and covered in ugly metal rings. Ianto took a step back.

"Right, I think you're overreacting. Why..." But the boy interrupted with a noise like a growl, and a lunge forwards. It seemed this was the wrong thing to say.

Ianto sighed that it had come to this. He neatly sidestepped the boy, and gave him a quick, calculated jab to the Solar Plexus. He collapsed, gasping for air, all signs of aggression gone. Ianto helped him to his feet, and the boy immediately scarpered, casting back feared glances at Ianto.

Ianto dusted his hands off, and turned around, noticing that Jack was standing right behind him.

"You were there the whole time? You could've helped me."

"Eh, you had it under control." Jack answered, grinning his signature smile. He stepped forward, and whispered in Ianto's ear, his breath gently tickling the Welshman's neck. "You know, you're really cute when you do that."

"What?" Murmured Ianto.

"Speak in Welsh, intimidate people, blush at complements.." said Jack, smiling even more at the tinge of red creeping into the Welshman's cheeks.

He placed his hand on Ianto's shoulder, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. Ianto deepened the kiss, and when they eventually parted for air, Jack stepped back a little, placing his hand to the comm at his ear.

"Owen, we're going Weevil hunting." He said and, without waiting for a reply from the doctor, snatched the comm both from his own ear, and then from Ianto's.

Back in the hub, Owen rolled his eyes.

"Weevil hunting again." he announced to the room.

Tosh and Gwen both grinned at the doctor's disgust, and returned to their work. Owen simply shut off his comm, on the off chance that the others would forget to, and walked off, muttering to himself.

Thanks for reading! Please vote and comment if you enjoyed : )