Liar - JJ Maybank x Reader

076 - Except That You Aren't Home

Paris, Texas - Lana Del Rey, SYML

Present

Y/N's POV:

I don't need to worry till it happens.

That's what I keep telling myself, but then again knowing myself I do know that it is not the case at all.

It's late at night now but I sit on my bed looking around my room, it's the same, but it smells like JJ.

I have no clue what this has been like for him, I mean, he thought his best friend was dead. Him and John b have been inseparable since forever, I think it was tough for both of them. And yeah, he thought I died too, but he would've moved on.

Had he moved on?

My chest aches at the thought.

I hear foot steps on the roof outside my window.

Fuck.

I quickly feel under my mattress for were I hide one of my knifes, thank god it's still there. I hold it in a tight grip in my hand.

The windows pulled open.

I raise my knife.

"Put the knife down Princess, or don't, you look really hot like that"

Relief fills my chest as I see Blondie struggling to climb through my window with a big smile on his face.

"You scared the shit out of me" I tell him with a huff, putting the knife back under my mattress

He laughs as he walks over to my bed, "I'm sorry babe", He plants a kiss on the top of my head and threads his hands through my hair.

I move myself to the edge of my bed and stand on my knees, wrapping my arms around his torso. This is what I need.

Us.

Me and him.

I forget everything else.

We hold each other tightly, not saying a word.

My soul ached to be back with him, and now that it is, I can breathe.

I feel his hands slide down to the back of my thighs, lifting me around him and he sets us down so that we're laying down together on my bed. 

I rest my head on his chest as he runs his hands up and down my back.

"Did everything go okay? Telling your family what happened?" He asks me

I nod, "Yeah, they're just happy I'm back and that I'm safe" I tell him

"Good" 

"How were they when everything happened?" I ask him

I feel him still slightly under me, "Jake was a wreck, didn't leave your room for days. Amy had to be okay, for Jake and for Mac, and for me. She was struggling as well, she'd break down whenever she'd find a single piece of your hair somewhere. But then we found out that you were okay, and Jake was almost back to normal, focused on finding you and bringing you back" He tells me.

I'm not surprised by my brothers reaction, I know he struggles more than what he leads everyone to believe. Amy is a saint, a nurturer and will always try make everybody feel better, rarely allowing herself a second.

"And how were you?" I look up at Blondie, waiting for an answer

His adams apples bobs in his throat, "I drank quite a bit the first few days"

That's what I was afraid of.

"I uh, I saw my Dad, that quickly got me out of drinking that much. I stayed here most days, I'd swap between here and JB's. Amy was great. Bowdie kept me company-" 

"JJ" I stop him. He looks down at me, tears in his eyes, "How were you" I ask him again.

Tears slip from his eyes and he quickly wipes them away, lips quivering, "I missed you so fucking much" 

I wrap my arms around him as he cries into my shoulder, holding onto me as tight as possible. I stroke his hair back and plant a firm kiss on the side of his head. "I missed you too Blondie, so much"

How could I even had thought of leaving him, begging for my life to end and forgetting about all of this.

It's time, I know it.

"JJ, I need to tell you something"

I pull away from him and sit against my headboard, taking a deep and shaky breath.

It's time, I think I know it.

He sits up as well, putting hand on my thigh as he wipes his tears away, "What's up"

"You can't get mad or upset with me, promise?" I plead softly

His eyes seem confused as he nods, "Of course, yeah I promise"

It's time, I know it.

"Well, you obviously know Noah, right?" I ask him

His eyes darken, "Yeah, why?"

"I haven't been completely honest, about what went down with me and him"

It's time, I think I know it.

"What do you mean?" His voice serious 

I look down at my hands as I speak, too afraid to watch him, "He was a really bad person", my throat tightens, "He hurt me, a lot, and did things that I wouldn't exactly consent to towards me"

His hand leaves my body.

Is it time?

Tears swell in my eyes, "On one of the last times, I left and had no intention of going back"

It has to come out now or it never will.

"Until I found out I was pregnant"

My stomach churns, making feel sick. My body's shaking and tears fall from my eyes.

"No. No, no, no"

I look at JJ, he's shaking his head and backing away from me.

"What?" I ask him, my voice breaking.

It wasn't time, I know it now.

"How do I know that you're not lying to me right now?" He accuses

My eyes widen and a sob comes out of my mouth, "Excuse me?"

"You just said it yourself, that you haven't been honest right? So, are you lying?" He asks me.

I stare at him blankly. His chest is heaving up and down, his eyes are dark.

"No, JJ, I am not lying" I tell him

He shakes his head, "Stop lying to me!" He says loudly.

Make it stop.

"I'm not lying!" I sob

"You're so fucking toxic, I can't believe that I thought this was a good idea" He says angrily, "You clearly just want fucking sympathy"

Alarms go off in my head, my ears ring, my body shakes with grief and anger.

Tears roll down my face, "Get out, don't fucking come near me again. We're done"

"You deserve all the shit he did to you" He tells me 

"Get the fuck out!" I scream at him, I shove him towards my window, "You fucking piece of shit get out!" I cry angrily, hitting his back, forcing him out

As the boy I loved stands outside my window he says, "You were nothing more than a good fuck anyways", and he's gone.

All you've felt and all you will ever feel won't matter when everyone think you're nothing more than a liar.

Authors Note:

Did y'all expect that? Who needs therapy?

Anywhore,

XOXO, Isabelle