Mending Heart's Affliction [Phoenix Countesses: ETHEREAL MAIDENS SERIES I]

Chapter 45

Beg for you

I love everything about Arik. It isn't easy being in love with him and not being able to express or even say it to him.

And looking at him like this right now, with an unknown anger very visible in his eyes, is the most painful thing I've experienced. It's even more painful than when I found out it would take a while before I can speak again.

"How do you know about that guy? Is he also one of the men you're choosing now to save yourself from your family's mess?" He continued questioning me about various things that I couldn't comprehend.

Sometimes, I wonder if this has something to do with the rumors Yumi has been spreading about me to him. I can't help but wonder what exactly Yumi told him to make him this angry at me, as if I've committed some grave offense against him, enough to insult me like this.

Arik chuckled and continued to puff on his cigarette. I stepped away slightly to avoid the smoke.

"Right. You can't speak. Why is that?"

I don't know either, Arik.

I kept my gaze on him. He tilted his head and looked at me.

"Is it true that you have a child? Who's the father then? One of your boys? Is it true that the Yuchengcos really kicked you out because you got pregnant by a man you didn't even know?"

I snapped when I heard that. My hands were trembling after that slap on his face. The intense anger in my heart was making it difficult for me to process everything. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin ang sinabi niya.

Sa isang iglap, parang may biglang nabuhay sa akin ngunit agad ding namatay.

"Y-you... y-you are... t-too much..." I mumbled with clarity.

Just like him, I was surprised by those words that slipped from my lips, but my anger overshadowed my surprise.

I saw confusion in his eyes. My lips quivered.

Marami nang nagsabi sa akin ng mga salitang iyon, but it felt different when it came from him, as if it was the most painful thing to hear, especially because it came directly from him.

"Y-you are... f-fucking... too much... A-Arik..." I stuttered.

I gasped. I sighed heavily. Sinubukang kong pakalmahin ang puso ko ngunit lalo lamang sumakit ito. Kasabay ng kung gaano kasakit ang lalamunan ko.

"I don't know if... if Yumi said something to you to make you insult me like this, but... but you've gone too far. Y-you and your words are k-killing me... s-slowly..." Tears started streaming down my face.

"You can talk now," he stated and averted his gaze from me. "I thought you couldn't—"

"W-why are you doing this to me? I-I understand that you don't remember anything. I-I get that you don't remember me, Arik, but w-why are you treating me like this? Da-dahil ba tingin mo ako ang may kasalanan... k-kung bakit ka naaksidente? Or... o-or because... because you're just frustrated and confused, not remembering anything? B-bakit... ha? Ba-bakit?!" Sigaw ko at marahas siyang tinulak palayo sa akin.

"N-naiintindihan ko naman... na ganyan ang nararamdaman mo! P-puwede mo namang sabihin sakin dahil... d-dahil naiintindihan ko, pero huwag naman ganito! I'm scared now!" I trailed off, releasing a loud sob.

It felt like my whole being was being shattered, and he didn't seem to care.

Before, he would rush to my side whenever he saw me lost in thought, concerned that something might be bothering me. Now, he doesn't care.