Mending Heart's Affliction [Phoenix Countesses: ETHEREAL MAIDENS SERIES I]

Chapter 5

Unbearable

I entered the prestigious halls of YCC for the last time, my heart is heavy with a mixture of sorrow and longing. I glanced through the glass walls of the conference room and watched Isabella confidently lead a meeting with my important clients. It was supposed to be me, representing the family's legacy. The weight of disappointment and shattered dreams crushed my spirit.

Feeling a surge of emotions, I made my way to my father's office. I knocked softly, my voice trembling as I called out, "Dad, may I come in?"

Dad's stern voice responded, "Come in."

As I stepped into the room, the tension between us was palpable. Kitang-kita ko ang dismaya sa mga mata niya, ang pinaghalong galit at pagkamuhi na hindi kinakaya ng bawat sulok ng opisina niyang ito.

This confrontation was long overdue. Ilang araw ko nang inipon lahat ng lakas at tapang ko para harapin siya sa araw na ito pero ngayong nandito na ako, pakiramdam ko ay gusto ko na lang ulit umatras. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko ito kakayanin nang mag-isa.

"Is your transition over? Don't you have anything else to do here? Bakit nandito ka pa?" He asked me sternly.

Ramdam ko ang pag-init ng sulok ng mga mata ko. Ang milyun-milyong kutsilyo sa puso ko ay nanatiling nakabaon doon.

Hindi pa nga ako nakakaahon, lumulubog kaagad ako. Hindi ko pa nga nababawi ang hininga kong tinanggal niya, ipinagkakait niya kaagad sa akin iyon. Ni hindi pa nga naghihilom ang lahat sa akin, and new wounds are already etched upon me.

"It's over, Dad. I just wanted to talk to you for the last time," I replied bravely.

As he looked up from the folder he was holding, his gaze turned fierce. "What else do you need, Celeste? I have made my decision. There's no way you could even change my mind," he declared firmly.

"Hindi ako nagpunta rito para baguhin ang desisyon niyo dahil alam kong hindi ko iyon kayang gawin. I don't even have the strength to convince you. Kahit na hindi niyo pa napakikinggan ang ekplanasyon ko." I said bitterly to him.

My heart sank. He wouldn't even look at me. It was as if he would die of shame if he looked at me for too long. Is it because I resemble Mom?

"Then why are you still here?" He asked me authoritatively.

"Gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit napakasama niyo sa akin samantalang ako ang una mong anak at hindi si Isabella. I have proven myself more than she has. I've almost sacrificed everything for YCC whenever it had issues. Bakit sa huli, ako pa rin ang talo?" I bravely asked him.

I've wanted to ask him that for a long time. Bakit mas pinapaboran niya ang pangalawa niyang asawa at ang anak niya sa labas kaysa sa akin? Isabella is just my stepsister. She's only his child from an affair, and Mama Victoria is just his second wife. I am still his first child. I am still his first family.

But why don't I feel that way?

"Ever since Mommy died, you stopped favoring me. Simula nang mamatay siya, hindi mo na ako tiningnan gaya ng kung paano mo tingnan si Isabella. Alam mo kung paano ko sinubukan lahat, kung paano ginawa ang lahat para lang mapatunayan ang sarili ko sayo, pero sa huli, talo pa rin ako." I trailed off and shook my head. "You've always been so harsh to me, Daddy..."

"I don't owe you any explanations, Celeste. You committed wrongdoing, so it's only fair that you face the consequences. Do you think I'm punishing you for no valid reason?" He asked sternly.

I chuckled.

"Isn't it? Hindi ba to parusa? You're disowning me just because I got pregnant. Kaya ko namang dalhin to! Kaya kong bumawi sa mga pagkakamali ko sa ibang paraan at alam mo yan! Bakit kailangang itapon mo ako na para lang akong basura?!"

I couldn't control myself anymore. I was filled with anger and resentment towards him. He didn't listen to me, and whenever Isabella or Mama Victoria spoke, he obediently followed like a meek puppy. Why couldn't he do the same for me?

Dad heaved a sigh and shook his head. "Leave. I don't want to see you anymore. Leave!"

I bit my lower lip, almost tasting the blood. The lump in my throat was choking me.

"You know very well how important the rules I've set are to us, but you still defied me!" He shouted again and stood up, pressing the intercom forcefully. "Call security, now!"

Tuluyan nang nalaglag ang panga ko. Pakiramdam ko ay masusuka na ako dahil sa labis na emosyon na lumalabas sa akin.

"What? You're going to have your security drag me out?" I uttered in disbelief.

His eyes grew even darker. "If that's what it takes to finally get you out of my company, Celeste, I'll do it!"

"Oh, my God..." I muttered. "This is unbelievable. Aalis ako! You don't have to have your security drag me out! Aalis ako at hinding-hindi mo na ako ulit makikita pa kahit kailan!" I declared. My heart was about to burst from the overwhelming anger towards him.

"At sana hindi dumating yung araw na gustuhin mong makita ulit ako, dad. I hate you. I wish it were you who died, not Mommy. You and these family rules are suffocating!" I blurted out and stormed out of his office, fiercely wiping away my tears.

It felt like I was being repeatedly killed in those moments. It went against everything inside me to beg like this because it's what I've been doing my whole life, but I love him so much. Hindi ko kayang malayo sa kaniya. Siya na lang ang natitirang mayroon ako. Hindi ko kayang pati siya mawawala sa akin.

Pero anong gagawi ko? The pain was unbearable. I started questioning my worth in his eyes. Totoo bang mahal niya ako? O baka naman ginamit niya lang ang kakayahan ko para sa kapakanan ng pamilyang iniingatan niya.