1993
Kurt's getting worse and worse with his heroin addiction which is making him more depressed. I am also feeling utterly alienated as well as depressed.
I then got up and got dressed for the day. Putting on a yellow halter crop top with some high waisted bell bottom jeans and yellow heels. I then did the feather curls with my hair and did my makeup. I looked pretty nice, I was going for a 70's look. I then put on some circled sunglasses.
Nirvana is practicing today at the studio so I went along to listen because I love hearing Kurt's voice. I'm surprised that Nirvana could even get together usually Kurt and Courtney are in Rehab all the time. Kurt hates it though so he'll usually leave, but he really is getting worse. I mean if only you could have seen him when I took a Polaroid picture of him he hid his face with his hair and the microphone as he played guitar.
Later On
Dave and I went to Groovy Bird.
"He's getting worse" I said to Dave after ordering our food.
"I know but there's nothing we can do about it. We can't force him to change if he doesn't want too."
"But he does he just doesn't know how."
"No he knows how and doesn't want to do it. He said it himself once he reaches 3 million he's gonna become a junkie." Dave says.
"I don't think he really meant it" I say knowing he probably did.
"Look I don't want to talk about this right now. I just want to enjoy my meal without hearing the word junkie, Nirvana, or Heroin." Dave said. I can tell that Dave is sensitive to this subject so I give it a rest.
I just eat my watermelon, feta, arugula, lemon dressing salad in peace while sipping on strawberry lemonade. Dave was eating a burger with French fries and a coke.
"You know Coke has cocaine in it." I say.
"So I have already used cocaine before it's not that much anyway" Dave says and I laugh along with him. I can't tell if my own laugh is real or fake. I've been faking it for so long.
After Dinner we go back to our house and get a phone call.
Phone Convo
Hello~ me
Amanda please listen Kurt is in the hospital and I don't know what to do.~ Courtney crying historically
What's wrong with him what's going on?~ me
I don't know he took a bunch of pills after I told him that I almost cheated on him.~ Courtney crying
Okay calm down what hospital?~ me
Jude~ Courtney
Be right there bye~ me
End Of Phone Convo
"Dave we need to leave to the Jude Hospital right now" I say while crying.
"Why what's wrong?"
"It's Kurt" I say while crying. We than get in the car and sped to Jude.
"You can't go in there in less your either together or family." she says.
I just push past her.
I see Courtney sitting on the floor in the hallway while crying. She just pointed to the door as I walk in there. I see Kurt with his mouth a bit open and his eyes irregular. One swollen almost shut and the other red and open.
"Kurt" I say lowly while wiping my tears and sitting at his bed side.
I could see tears coming down the side of his face.
He try's talking but slurs and I can't understand him.
"Shh I know" I say.
I open the covers and crawl in the bed next to him while putting the covers back over us and cuddle him.
"Your such a loser for doing that. Who cares if Courtney was going to cheat on you, she's a retard. I love you Kurt, and your my loser and I'm your loser. I will always love you Kurt. You will always have me" I cry to him and kiss his cheek.
"I love you too" he slurs out really trying to talk.
We were both crying at that point.
"I know you do Kurt but I really do love you Kurt. I love you more than anyone in the world." I say.
"I love you more than anyone else too" he slurs back to me.
"I know" I say to him and kiss his cheek.
"Just relax you'll feel better" I say to him.
He closes his eyes.
"Just listen to my voice. Imagine us young again on the day I first went to your house. Remember us playing guitar and seeing together the Brady Bunch song." I say to him.
I then sing the song to him and he smiles.
"Remember us sharing a carton of milk. Us listening to music. Than the first time I heard your song that you wrote and how I loved it" I say to him calmly trying to hold back my tears.
But I see his tear slowly start again as he falls asleep.
"I love you Kurt" I whisper in his ear to make sure whatever he's dreaming he'll hear it and smile.
"We've been trying to get him to sleep for hours" the doctor says to me.
I smile and walk out of the room so they can do they're thing.
"Your not allowed ever to see Kurt again" Courtney says to me.
"Excuse me" I say rudely to her.
"You heard me. It will be best." she said.
"That's not your decision, it's Kurt's." I say.
"Kurt can't make a decision at this moment and I'm his wife." she says.
"So Kurt and I are inseparable and we have been since we've met" I say to her.
YOU ARE READING
Kurt Was My Lover
FanfictionKurt Cobain was my lover and I was his ever since high school. We would sneak around Courtney's and Dave's back, even though we knew they knew. We were eternally in love. Sometimes the pain is too tough to handle though.
