Can We Make It Through This?

Chapter 3

Johnnie POV

Nothing could ever prepare Johnnie for the feeling of a hangover the next day. The pounding migraine, the shallow breathing, the shaky hands, and that overall feeling of nausea suffocated him in his bed. The answer he usually resorted to was just getting drunk again, but he knew Jake was going to be watching closely over him, especially with how he was acting the night before. The bright light of the day blinded him through his thin window blinds. He groaned softly to himself, pressing his hands to his head and squinting at his phone for the time.

Upon looking at his phone, he is met with a plethora of kind messages that were sent by both friends and fans. He knew they meant well, and he really did appreciate the support, but hell, could they be anymore obvious? He hadn't even gotten that bad. Yet.

By the time he scrolled through his phone for a few more moments, looking through as many messages as he could, he finally actually checked the time like he had originally planned to do. It was 5:43pm. Did he really just sleep the whole day away? It wasn't like it was out of the ordinary for him to get up late, but he couldn't help getting that lingering feeling of guilt and self-hatred for not being more productive.

He finally pushed himself off of his bed, grabbing whatever clothes were closest to him. As he dressed himself, he found himself staring at the small scab forming on his thigh. He took a deep inhale in and just tried to ignore it. Though most of the night felt like a blur, he could remember that moment clearly despite the fact that he desperately wanted to forget it. He stumbled into the bathroom and began to stare at his reflection.

The black streaks of eyeliner and eyeshadow made him seem like even more of a mess than he was. He would be fine. He was fine. Last night was just a blip. He scrubbed whatever makeup he could off of his face so that Jake wouldn't see it and sloppily brushed his hair and teeth. However, he could barely brush his teeth for a few seconds before he gagged on his toothbrush, causing his body to react violently. He could feel the bile rising rapidly in his throat, so he immediately hovered over his toilet while almost all the alcohol he had consumed the night before projected into the toilet. Not only this, but his migraine was getting even worse.

He got himself up slowly and cleaned himself up. Though no actual vomit got on him, he knew he would stink of it if he didn't do anything, so he took a quick swig of mouthwash and called it a day.

He opened his door slowly, so he didn't make much noise. Johnnie didn't want Jake to hear him moving around the house if he could help it. He knew Jake would only mean the best, but his concern only stressed Johnnie out more. He could never understand why, but ever since he was a kid, he had some irrational fear of letting people in. Even if he was going through something, it was only more scary that other people knew how he was feeling too.

He practically tiptoed, checking to see if Jake was sitting there. To no surprise, Jake was there, watching some movie on the TV. Well, he had the movie on, but he was scrolling through his phone. Despite Johnnie's original apprehension with seeing Jake, he could feel an ice wall melt inside of him as he stumbled over to the kitchen.

Jake looked over and smirked slightly. "Morning, sleeping beauty."

"Shut up. Where the fuck is the Advil?" Johnnie aggressively rummaged through the cabinets before ultimately giving up and going over and sitting on the sofa with Jake.

"Oh my bad, I think I finished the last one in the cabinet. I think Tara might have another in her car, though. She's in the shower right now, but I can go run out and grab it for you?"

"Thanks," Johnnie grumbled, hands pressing against his head once again. He swiveled his body so that he was now laying down on the sofa, rather than sitting upright. His stomach was rumbling aggressively. He knew that, in the end, not eating was only making him feel worse, but he just couldn't bring himself to eat anything. Just the idea of eating made his stomach turn. He knew he would have to eat eventually- just not now.