cowboy like me - yoongi x reader

and i now i'll pay for it

october 1793

"you look different today," you remark as you watch yoongi wake up in the morning.

you have made a habit of checking in on him first thing in the morning, looking for yoongi as soon as you wake up. usually he's fast asleep, snoring softly or drooling. it's not that you're thrilled to wake up next to him or can't wait to see him, but the cold weather as the season changed into fall really bothers yoongi. he often shivers and sniffles late at night, although he always claims he's fine.

"different?" he repeats, his voice groggy from sleep, "even more handsome?"

you snort. "no. you look even worse than normal actually."

"stop looking then," he grumbles.

"fine."

you get up from the ground, stretching out your limbs with a yawn. you look around the little clearing you made last night to make sure you still have all your stuff. luckily, your bags are still there, but that also means you'll have to carry it for hours on end again today.

"we should get a horse," you think out loud, "or a mule."

silence. you expected him to joke about you already being a mule, but no. did he fucking die?

you look around and see him lying in the same position as when he woke up. it looks like he's fallen back asleep. or actually died.

huh…

you come closer, hoping to hear him breathing since the warm furs wrapped around his body make it hard to see if his chest is moving.

oh my god… what if he's dead and the last thing you did was tell him he looks worse?

"yoongi?" you whisper, nudging his shoulder, "are you dead? did me telling you you look bad today make you give up on life?"

he groans as soon as you touch him, "are you fucking serious?"

you let out a relieved sigh. you don't even care he cursed at you. in fact, you're happy he's still healthy enough to have his temper.

"do you think you can stand?" you ask.

"i'll try in a minute," he says softly, turning around and closing his eyes again.

a weird feeling of concern washes over you at seeing him like this. he rarely lets himself rest. he look so vulnerable like this – with a red nose, flushed cheeks and dull eyes.

"okay, take your time," you tell him gently, "i'll go find some herbs to help with your fever."

that catches his attention. he opens his eyes and sits up straight. "i'll come with you."

your eyebrows furrow in confusion, your eyes flickering with surprise at seeing him so lively. "but you're sick…"

he shakes his head, "no, just tired."

you stare at him for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out why he suddenly wants to join. is he scared to be alone? no… he loves being alone. he barely tolerates you being here.

"do you not want me to go alone?" you ask carefully.

he frowns at your question, but doesn't deny it. instead he says, "you'll get lost."

is he worried about you?

you don't know how to feel right now. it's not that you don't care about yoongi, but you need to keep your distance from him. you feel more drawn to him everyday, which scares you. yoongi keeping his distance from you helps you to do the same. but if he starts getting closer, there's no way you won't fall for him. and you can't get involved like that with him. not now. not when you finally have the chance to avenge your father after so many years.