cowboy like me - yoongi x reader

the sweetest con

august 1799

the horses' hooves clack on the ground, twigs and leaves crunching under their feet as you and yoongi stare out at the view in front of you, neither of you having said a word since this morning.

you glance at him, taking in the way he struggles to meet your gaze, the way he seems to both be excited and terrified to be spending time with you.

he has been trying to make things right between you two, to prove he's changed, that he'll do anything to deserve your forgiveness.

you know he still deeply cares for you, his eyes betray a love that had never faded. but there is also fear in those eyes, a fear that you are still harboring resentment for what he had done. and you can't deny that there were moments when you felt like you hated him.

your emotions have been a rollercoaster almost every single day. sometimes you feel almost ready to let go of the past, and act friendly with him, but then you remember all that happened, making you distance yourself from him once again.

cause the truth is, even if you'd ever forgive him, you're not sure if you could ever trust him again.

you know it messes with his heart, giving him hope when you're acting almost kind to him, only to roll your eyes at everything he says the next day, but you can't help yourself. your mind and heart are at constant odds with each other.

"your fiancé sure is protective over you."

he's trying to act nonchalant, like he doesn't care about what your answer will be. yet, his grip tightens around the reins in his hands, as if his blood boils at the very mention of your fiance's name.

"he is."

it's obvious he's not satisfied with your vague reply. he knows you're holding back, but he also knows he's in no position to probe further, yet that doesn't stop him.

"you must care for him greatly if you're willing to stay," he tries again.

his eyes search for yours, trying to find any sort of affection, some proof that you truly love jihae.

"he's the love of my life," you lie, saying it only to hurt him.

you can practically hear his heart breaking, like it's a glass you've carelessly dropped onto the floor. he turns his head away, wiping roughly at his eyes, and you feel a stab of remorse for hurting him so badly.

you look away, focusing on the horizon, the rolling hills, the distant trees. anything to avoid seeing the pain in his eyes.

"i was just being sarcastic," you finally say. you wonder if he buys it, or if he thinks you're lying about that too.

either way, you now feel bad for jihae as well, so you add, "he's a wonderful man, there's just no romantic love between us. it's just the best for sugui."

"you really love that kid, don't you?"

"of course i do."

"i didn't know you wanted to have children. you only talked about wanting to be a doctor."

"i do want a family," you tell him, and it's not a lie. you'd always pictured yourself settling down and having a family after having a successful career as a doctor. but you are 30, and the chances of having children are getting smaller. "what about you?"

he takes a minute to talk, like he's trying to gather some courage.

"i do," he replies, a little flush high on his cheeks, "but only with one woman."