cowboy like me - yoongi x reader

the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

august 1799

“i just wanted to thank you for last night,” you say, breaking the silence between you two the next day. “you were right, about it not being what i needed.”

he nods, a smile on his lips like he's relieved you're not mad or upset.

it was a little awkward to see him the next morning, especially when you remember how bold you'd been. you can still recall the way your heart had pounded in your chest, and how you'd reached for him in the dark. but he'd stopped you, gently. you were confused at first, thinking he wanted the same as you.

but after he left, you realized he was right. you weren't looking for sex, not really. but for comfort and connection.

you can't say you've regretted sleeping with him, but you know why he did what he did and you're grateful for it.

you stare into the flames of the campfire, as yoongi plays with a twig, snapping it into smaller and smaller pieces. you think he's content just enjoying each other's company for now, but then he speaks.

“traveling with you... it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me.” 

you look up from the flames, surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his expression. he's grown a lot, from sulky, closed off young man who only wanted money and success, to a wise, caring adult who knows it's okay to show emotions.

still, his eyes hold so much more than he's saying. and you know what it is – that his life has been one big struggle, battles and trials from the day he was born, and your friendship has been the first time he's felt truly alive.

“you know i feel the same, right?”

he sets the twig down and looks at you, really looks at you, as if searching for some sign that you mean it. you do mean it, more than he'll ever know. you've seen the scars he hides, the ones that mark his heart more than his skin, and the story of you two is far from ideal, yet there's hardly anything you would've changed.

“i do now.”

he scoots closer, closing the gap between you. he wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a side hug that feels more natural than you ever thought it would.

“you know,” he starts, “i wanted to do this when we were younger.”

“do what?”

“hold you like this, protect you, but at the same time, i couldn't fucking stand you. so full of life and hope. disgusting.” he shakes his head, sighing as if disappointed.

you laugh, a small, surprised sound.
“yeah, i was pretty annoying, wasn't i?”

“you still are.”

there's no malice in his words, only affection.

you roll your eyes good-heartedly before looking up at him, “i’m sorry i said i hated you. i didn't mean it.”

he sighs, the sound a mix of relief and sadness. “i'm sorry for making you feel like you had to say it.”

you smile soft at his apology, a hint of sorrow in your eyes as you lean your cheek against his shoulder.

the fire crackles, sending sparks into the night sky as you watch them disappear into the darkness above, a strange sense of nostalgia washing over you.

over 15 years ago, you used to stargaze with suga as teenagers. there were tender moments shared between the two of you, ones where he'd stroke your hair and tell you you were prettier than any princess he'd ever seen, or where he'd stand up for you after a noble made fun of your status.