And Everything Nice

Chapter 8

The room was dark when she woke up, groggy from her nap.
Her head throbbed dully as she rolled over from side to her back, shifting to get comfortable. Draco was gone, no longer curled up a distance beside her, but Theo was on his side facing her, watching her quietly, his expression somber.
She opened her mouth to speak, but her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. As if anticipating her predicament, Theo reached over to the nightstand and handed her first a glass of water, and then a phial of pain potion. She took both without complaint, sipping, then swallowing, and finally murmuring a soft, "Thank you."
Theo nodded and took the empty phial and glass from her, setting both back onto the nightstand before rolling over, resuming his silent watch.
Apparently he had no intention of speaking, simply staring. Which was usually fine, nice even, flattering sometimes, but now...this particular stare of his was unnerving. Or maybe it was not knowing what was going on inside his head that unnerved her.
"Where's Draco?" she asked when the silence and staring got to be too much.
"Talking to his mother". Theo's voice was a bit scratchy as if he'd been smoking more than normal. Likely, as the scent of cloves and spice hung heavy in the air like incense.
Narcissa. Gods, Hermione was going to have to explain and then apologize. Profusely. Unless Draco was explaining in which case, she could spend all her time apologizing instead. "Is he telling her?"
Theo nodded. "He's telling her December won't work."
For one stupid moment, her heart froze. Theo, no doubt having seen the flash of fear on her face, added, "May, Hermione. He's telling her to go with May."
Her breath whistled from between her lips as her heart steadied. "Right. Okay." Theo sighed loudly, eyes scrunching shut briefly before flaring open. The sound was
impatient as if he was fed up with holding his tongue. "You know why I'm mad, don't you?" She nodded. "Because I didn't tell you—"
"Because you didn't trust me, us," he corrected. "You didn't trust us."
Her breath caught in her chest. He was wrong. That wasn't true. Not at all. "I do trust you. I do."

"Then act like it." He shook his head. "It's a two way—three-way street, Hermione." He paused, brow quirking. "Which sounds like hell for traffic."
She could barely churn up a weak snort.
"I guess what I'm saying is, this can't be about you taking care of us, it's got to be mutual.
What is it Muggles say in their marriage vows? For better or for worse?"
How he knew that she wasn't sure. But it wasn't his knowledge of Muggle wedding ceremonies that took her by surprise. It was the whole sentiment, the heart of Theo's apparent frustration. It...made sense. "Yes."
His blue eyes were intent, unflinching as he stared. "It's not just our worse, okay? It's yours, too. And everything in between."
Had Draco or Theo been holding on to something that was eating at them, she'd have been upset. Upset not simply because they hadn't shared, but because they hadn't felt it necessary —or perhaps possible—to confide in her. "I really am sorry."
"I know you are." Theo smiled, just a tiny quirk of his lips that almost looked sad.
A moment passed with only the sound of her heartbeat and the constant tick of the clock on the opposite side of the room. Finally, Theo blew out a noisy breath. "I'm also angry with my myself because—damn it, I should've known."
"What?" She rolled on to her elbow. "How could you have—"
"I should've." He brushed his lower lip with his thumb, frowning. "You've been...distracted, somewhat. I noticed that, but I didn't think it was...I figured it was the school or that you were worried about Draco, because I've been worried about Draco, but it looks like we both should've been worried about you. I didn't think—"
"I didn't want you to. That was the whole point, Theo. The fact that you noticed anything is a credit to your perceptiveness."
"Well, I could've asked," he groused. "We're supposed to communicate, but apparently this is a thing between us, where you don't say what you're feeling and I'm forced to drag it out of you. Granted, it's much more fun when you're confessing to wanting to shag me and Draco and feeling all adorably, morally conflicted."
She worried the inside of her cheek for a moment. "I wouldn't have told you."
Words unspoken hung in the air. She'd have lied and said she was fine when she wasn't. From the way Theo stared, blue eyes hard, he knew it.
She dropped her gaze to the bedspread and blinked back wetness. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Are you going to do it again?"
Her head snapped up. "No."

She'd had her reasons for not sharing, for holding her feelings in, but those hardly felt like decent excuses now. Flimsy, more like.
Theo weighed her answer before speaking. "You're forgiven."
"I am?"
He nodded.
She chewed on the corner of her lip until he reached out, prying it from between her teeth. "Really?"
Theo huffed softly and rolled his eyes. "Really. I know why you did it. I only wish you wouldn't have felt it necessary."
Hearing it wasn't the relief it should've been. Which wasn't to say she didn't believe him, but maybe she didn't forgive herself. Or maybe it was a hard pill to swallow, this idea of being taken care of.
Theo watched her intently, and if not for the fact that she did trust him implicitly, she might've wondered if he'd taken a slip inside her head. After a moment spent studying her, he reached out, brushing a curl off her forehead. "How are you feeling?"
She opened her mouth, then paused. "How do you mean? Physically or emotionally?"
His lips quirked. "Both."
"Quite crummy, to be honest," she confessed. Though the pain potion she'd swallowed had worked wonders on her headache, she still ached other places. Her back. Her stomach. Her heart, too.
Theo frowned, skimming his knuckles along her jaw and down her neck before dancing his fingers along her collarbone. "I'm sorry to hear that."
She'd be fine. She shrugged, sniffing lightly.
He continued to dance his fingers down her arm, along the dip in her waist, and across her stomach. When he paused on the metal button of her trousers, her breath caught and held.
Theo flicked his eyes up, one dark brow arching in question. Her face was on fire. "I'm—"
"Having your monthly, I know," he said it like it was no big deal, which it wasn't, but... "If it bothers you, that's one thing. Otherwise"—he shrugged—"I don't care."
In the months since they'd gotten together, they hadn't done this. She'd always shifted their hands away, quietly muttering that it wasn't a good time, and neither had pressed further than that, respecting the warning and taking it at face value. Brief as her periods were, three or four days, it hadn't really mattered.

"You don't?" she whispered.
He shook his head, fingers popping the button of her jeans with ease. He paused, fingers tucked just barely beneath the cotton of her knickers. "You can say no."
She knew that. She could always say no. "Maybe just..." She met Theo's eyes and he looked so earnest that suddenly she felt terribly silly for stammering all over herself. "Not inside right now, okay?"
His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip as he nodded. He slipped his hand further inside her knickers. When the tips of his fingers grazed her clit, she jolted, teeth sinking into her lip.
"Sensitive?" he asked.
She nodded.
Keeping his touch light, Theo circled her slowly. She was more sensitive, every stroke of his finger pads feeling so much more intense than usual. She swallowed, pulse already speeding, her breath quickening.
Theo shifted, tossing his right leg over hers and pressing their foreheads together. His nose bumped her, but he didn't lean in, didn't try to kiss her. He kept his eyes open, staring into hers. She squirmed. "Theo."
His lashes fluttered and when he wet his bottom lip again, she could almost taste the clove and smoke of his mouth. "Shh. Let me take care of you."
She was trembling and she couldn't stop it. Under his fingers, she practically throbbed in time with her pulse, another heartbeat between her thighs. Sweat broke out along her nape and upper lip, her hairline. Her breath caught inside her throat as everything inside her went impossibly, almost painfully tight. Her legs shook, everything from her toes up to her jaw clenching before releasing.
She promptly burst into tears.
If Theo was shocked, he didn't show it. Instead, he slid his hand from her knickers and buttoned her trousers before leaning in and kissing first the tip of her nose, then her forehead, and finally her lips.
Her hands clutched his shoulders and he braced his weight on his forearms, holding himself aloft over her. Which wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to feel all of him, feel his weight pressing her down into the mattress. She tugged against him until he got the message and dropped a bit, still not all his weight, but more of it.
He was hard against her stomach, but he wasn't doing anything about it. She wasn't sure this had been about that.
Slowly, she stopped sniffling. Through it all, Theo waited patiently, until, after she had taken a shaky breath in and her tears had finally dried up, he nudged her nose with his. "I love you."

She knew. But hearing it provided her a comfort she hadn't known she needed. "I love you, too."
By the time Draco returned, Theo had rolled them over. He was on his back and her head was on his chest. He had one arm curled around her waist and she was holding on to him like he'd float away if she let go.
Expression inscrutable in the dim light, Draco crawled into bed, facing her with Theo between them. "Hey."
She swallowed. "I'm sorry."
A beat of silence followed, just long enough to give her time to hold her breath. Draco cleared his throat before reaching across Theo and tucking a curl behind her ear. "Apology accepted."
*** She woke up later in the evening, heart still heavy.
Draco was wrapped around Theo, his face turned and smushed into the pillow behind them. Flat on his back, Theo's lips were parted, his nose occasionally twitching. She slipped out of bed quietly so as not to disturb them. On the table near the fireplace was a tray of food, likely under a stasis charm. Her stomach rumbled, but she ignored it and the food both, instead ducking out into the hall.
It couldn't be that late. With any luck—she took a deep breath—Narcissa would still be awake.
The dining room was dark, but sure enough, a light was on in the sitting room, illuminating the entry in the hall.
Biting her lip, she paused. Draco had obviously said something, told his mother December wouldn't work. Had he said why or had he left that up to her? She shut her eyes. Talking about it was exhausting. Not that she didn't understand why she needed to, but each time it was like pressing a still-open wound.
She had to explain, apologize. Narcissa deserved that much, at least, because Hermione had been completely out of bounds.
Now or never, Hermione took a step into the light, pausing in the entryway.
Narcissa looked up from her book and gave her a wan smile. She shut her book and set it aside, then patted the cushion beside her. "Come here, dear."
She hurried across the room. "Narcissa, I am so terribly sorry for what I said."
Narcissa reached out and rested a hand over Hermione's. "Had I known it was a sore spot, I wouldn't have pushed you so hard."

"You couldn't have known. I should've said something."
Narcissa pursed her lips. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't enjoy talking about it. And there's nothing anyone can do, so..." She shrugged. "And you seemed so excited about planning everything. I didn't want to put a damper on any of it."
Narcissa squeezed her hand. "I am excited. I'm excited for Draco, that he's found two people who love him as much as he loves them. I'm excited that our family is growing, that I'm gaining another son and a daughter. I'm excited that it's you." She smiled. "It's not just a wedding, and yes, planning it does make me happy, but only so far as it makes you happy."
She swallowed over the lump in her throat. "I am happy." "You'd simply be happier if your parents were in attendance."
It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway. "I feel like that makes me selfish, that I have everything else I want, more than I thought was possible, and I still want more."
"What I think that makes you"—Narcissa reached out, fingers toying with a curl— "is human. And very selfless, actually, for even considering it possible to want for too much. And as for your parents, there's much I could say about them and their inability to comprehend how much of a gift you are, but I wouldn't want to offend." Narcissa's smile went sharp, her eyes like blue flames, and had Hermione forgotten the woman was a Slytherin, that look alone would've been an ample reminder. "I'll settle for saying their loss is my gain."