Unwanted

Chapter 13

Archit

I smiled due to her actions.
Dube dube jol khawa.
[Note: it is an idom meaning 'to act surreptitiously.']

"Di do you remember how Deepanjan used to say that he was going to become spiderman when he grows up?" Brishti said to Priyodorshini making her nod in agreement.
"Shut up you cow." Deepanjan said making Brishti giggle. Priyodorshini laughed.
"Di, you too." Deepanjan said with a pout.
"Hehe." Priyangshu giggled.
"Brishti do you remember that you used to run around the house in nothing but a half pant as a kid?" Priyodorshini said making Deepanjan and Priyangshu laugh.
"Di." Brishti said in a threatening tone.
"See. Di is on my side now." Deepanjan said with pride.
I smiled upon seeing them. Eventhough I am confused about what they are talking about.
Deeapanjan and Brishti continued quarreling.
Looks like they are very close to their di.

Right now we were at Priyodorshini's house, my sasurbari. Priyodorshini and I had come here with Priyangshu for our dwiragaman. We were going to stay here for a few days. Priyodorshini, Priyangshu, Brishti, Deepanjan and I were sitting on the floor of Priyodorshini's bedroom.
Brishti and Deepanjan had come to visit us. Oh, sorry not 'us'. They were here to visit their di and Priyangshu, not me. Deepanjan, Brishti, Priyodorshini and Priyangshu were talking and laughing amongst themselves while I sat there in silence like a statue. I felt lonely. Even amidst all the noise, I felt like I was by myself. Deepanjan and Brishti were mostly talking with Priyodorshini and Priyangshu while ignoring me for some reason which was unknown to me.
It's ok. I am used to this now. Wherever I went people mostly ignored my presence. I guess it's better this way.
It will be a lie if I say that I don't like this, afterall ignoring me is still better than gossiping about me.
Although a little acknowledgement would be nice.
Maybe I should try talking with them.
"Hey-"
"And then remeber what happened after that?" Brishti said making everybody laugh loudly. It felt like the floor was shaking due to the noise. Loud noises are scary. I felt my eyes becoming blurry, I felt like I was going to cry. I felt uncomfortable.

I couldn't help but feel a little jealous upon seeing the interactions between Priyodorshini and her cousins. I felt jealous that most of her relatives loved her while I wasn't even good enough to receive my Baba's love. Maybe a little love and affection was too much to ask for.
"Umm guys-"
"Di remember how Brishti used to dance around the house with a doll?" Deepanjan cut me off before I could say anything.
"Yeah. I remember." Priyodorshini said.
"I am going to use the washroom." I said before getting up from the floor and going out of the room. Although it was of no use.
Everybody in the room continued talking and laughing amongst themselves. Priyodorshini, as always ignored me. Her ignorance seems to have become the norm for me. Nobody cares if I am there or not.
I left the room, not wanting to be a kabab mein haddi.
[Note: idom meaning 'third wheel']

Instead of going to the washroom
I went to the balcony. I need some fresh air.
I stood, leaning on the railing while admiring the afternoon sky, the scenery, the birds who were flying. I wish I had wings, then I too would've flew away.
The road was mostly empty due to the afternoon heat. The sky was still blue but had hints of yellow. The clouds looked like pieces of cotton floating in the sky. The nature really is beautiful. My eyes suddenly started becoming blurry. I took off my specs and closed my eyes, letting a tear roll down my cheek. I was feeling lonely.
From morning till now I have only been ignored by everybody here.

●●●●●●●

"How have you been doing?" Priyodorshini's mother asked her, concern audible in her voice.
"Okay." Priyodorshini answered in one word.
"You haven't faced any problems in your sasurbari?" Priyodorshini's mother asked her while glancing once at me during the 'problem' part. "No." Priyodorshini answered.
Priyodorshini's mother hugged her. "I need to talk to you about something in private." She whispered into Priyodorshini's ears.
Aunty you should whisper a little less loudly. I can hear everything.
Both mother and daughter got up and walked towards Priyodorshini's room while I kept sitting at the dinning table with my son.

I looked at the wall clock, it was 10:00 am. Priyodorshini, Priyangshu and I had come to Priyodorshini's house for our dwiragaman.
"Where did they go?" Priyangshu questioned me. I looked at him.
"No idea." I answered.
I would have told you if I knew.
I looked up and stared at the ceiling. I hope that I will be able to make a good impression.
Just then the doorbell rang. I got up to open the door. I went to the door and opened it.

"Di, we missed you so- oh." Brishti's excitement died down upon seeing me.
"Hi." I said, trying to be nice.
"Hi." Brishti said in a disappointed tone.
"Why don't you come inside!" I said trying my best not to make her feel awkward. Brishti came inside and went straight to Priyangshu.
"How is my troublemaker?" She said to Priyangshu in a playful tone.
"Good, Masi. How are you?" Priyangshu answered. I closed the door and went towards them.

Maybe I should start a conversation.
"How are yo-" Before I could ask Brishti how she was doing the doorbell rang again.
I looked at the door in confusion. Who was it now?
"It must be Deepanjan." Brishti said while picking Priyangshu up and going towards Priyodorshini's room.
I went and opened the door once again. It was infact Deepanjan, who upon seeing me made an expression like I had kicked his balls.
"Hi Deepanjan." I greeted him with a smile.
"Hi." Deepanjan said sounding uninterested.
"Where is Brishti?" He asked.
"She went towards Priyodorshini's room." I answered him with a smile.
"Why don't you come in-" Deepanjan went inside before I could finish my sentence.

Damn.