Unwanted

Chapter 1

Archit

I closed my eyes and tried to cover my ears with my hands but it was of no use.

"Characterless."
"Manwh*re."
"Spoiled."
"Playboy."
The voices kept growing louder and louder. I felt suffocated.
"No. Stop. Stop." I kept begging for it to stop.
"Shameless."
"He is only good for a f*ck."
"Worthless."
"Please. Stop." I begged while crying.
Just when I felt like I was going to die from suffocation I opened my eyes.

The smell of the wet soil reached my nose, the melodious sound of the fireflies reached my ears, the night was dark, cold and lonely. I sat up panting heavily, covered in sweat and looked around. Oh, so it was just a dream. I realised that I had fallen asleep on the bank of the hooghly river, my favourite place to visit when I felt lonely. I quickly took out my phone from my pocket to check the time. It was 1:45 am.
I gulped in fear while staring at my phone.

15 missed calls from Baba. I remembered how I came here after having an arguement with him.
He must be at it again. Even though I know what he'll say there was this unexplainable hope in me, maybe just maybe it will be different today.
Trembling in fear I dialled his number, "Hello Baba."
"YOU IDIOT WHERE ARE YOU?" he practically screamed into my ear
"A-Actually I-"
"WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE, COME HOME RIGHT NOW." He hung up the phone without letting me finish.

Tears rolled down my eyes as I tried to control my sobs, why did I even hope for something else. I thought to myself while wiping my eyes.

●●●●●●

After walking for awhile I reached home, I stood infront of the familiar door. I stared at my phone it was 2:00 am. I could feel baba's wrath from outside he must be drunk again, afterall that was his daily routine. Just as I opened the door, a glass came flying towards my head, luckily I dodged it.

"YOU SON OF A B****."

Baba cursed me out as soon as I entered the house.
I froze in my place upon hearing his words. They were nothing new to me but still a part of me felt melancholy.
I broke out from my chain of thoughts when baba grabbed my collar and vigorously shook me.

"WHERE WERE YOU?." He yelled at the top of his lungs.
"I- I was ju-just out for a walk" I replied while trying my best not to tear up.
"YOU WERE WH**ING AROUND AGAIN WEREN'T YOU?"
"No not at all." I replied while tears rolled down my cheeks.
Before I could say anything else my head hit the wall behind me. My hands and my back made contact with the cold, hard floor.
Baba had pushed me.
"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING IDIOT."

I sat there speechless,my eyes blurry because of my tears. I didn't know what hurt me the most today.
His actions or his words. Afterall there was infact some truth to his words.

No matter how many times I deny it.
I will always be what everybody called a Manwh*re.
I ran upstairs and barged straight into my bedroom. I sat down on my bed with tears running down my face, The sound of my sobs filled the room.

Was I really a good for nothing idiot, was I really unwanted. Was I really a manwh*re who was always sleeping around.
With all these thoughts running in my mind, I didn't realise when I fell asleep.

●●●●●●●

The dinning room was filled with an air of awkwardness.

Neither me nor baba tried to talk to each other. We both were or atleast I was trying to pretend like the other one didn't exist.
The only audible noise in the room was the sound of my fork striking my plate. I sat there playing with my breakfast, a plate of noodles.
"Archit, don't play with your food. You are not a child anymore." Baba said breaking the silence. "Sorry." I replied while taking a bite out of my plate.

The room was once again filled with silence.

"Archit." Baba said, trying to break up the silence between us.
"Yes." I replied while trying to sound like an ideal son.
"Where were you last night?." He asked me.
"That is none of your business Baba." I replied still playing with my fork.
"Archit, try to understand don't be so immature. I wasn't in the right state of mind last night that is why I yelled at you."
"When are you in the right state of mind?"

"DON'T TALK BACK TO ME."
Baba shouted while slaming his glass of water against the table.
I flinched hard due to baba's actions.
"Archit, look I want what's best for you. Last night I was angry because of how you were behaving, you need to understand that I cannot attend your graduation ceremony because I am busy." He said while trying to calm himself down.
"You're lying, you don't care about me at all. You just want to make sure that you're reputation doesn't get ruined. You don't want to attend it because you are afraid someone might question you about-"
Suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my cheek. Baba had slapped me.

"You don't understand when I try to speak gently with you. Talking back to your father, throwing a tantrum when things don't go your way, last night you ran away crying just because I said I cannot attend your graduation." Saying this baba grabbed me by my collar. "Ofcourse I need to be careful about my reputation, afterall I have an immature manwh*re like you as my son. You're nothing but a regret that I want to forget about. You're just an unwanted mistake that your mother refused to get rid off." Baba finally left my collar.

"You know Archit instead of fooling around, you should focus on your future." He got up from the table and left the room, pretending like the unpleasant conversation which took place between us never happened, like all the words that he said were just my imagination.

I couldnot utter even a single word, tears started flowing down my eyes.
I just sat there sobbing uncontrollably. My face stained with tears, I got up from the table and left to get ready to go to college.

College was a place I feared even more than hell afterall that place was the reason behind my nickname
Manwh*re.