𝑾𝑰𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑫 𝓖𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼

HEAVEN OR LV / MIRROR.

Oct 22. Sunday, 5am.

I texted Mitch to tell him I won't be heading to the club anytime soon. I haven't been inside in a while either. I'm not sure if Lisa is going or even Krystal or Jane. I don't even know where they are. I guess in the end I ain't got nobody, but me. I toss all my belongings in the car. I look up to see Evelyn with her half of the necklace, the silver chain spilling through her hands. "Abel..."

Fuck. My heart sank as she staggered towards me with tears trickling down her cheeks. "Why? how could you even do that? And then you wrote about it?" she cried, shaking and staring right into my eyes as if I were next.

"Do what?" I tried to play it off as if I didn't know anything, but if she knew through the music, she knew exactly what I'd done.

She shoved the necklace in my face, bawling even harder. "I loved you Abel. I really did, why would you do that to me." I saw the anger flash in her eyes. She pushed me against the car door repeatedly hitting me in the chest, but I didn't bother with it. She was too jittery and frantic to hit me hard enough to hurt.

"Evelyn." I take her shaky hands into mine in a weak attempt to calm her. " I did it because I love you. Your sister was no better, she was a backstabber." An itch in my throat stopped me. I couldn't tell her I spent so much time making her sister fall in love with me just to prove she was no better than I was for her. She claimed I was horrible and she was gonna set me up for a ride with the police, because of my criminal and drug dealing past.

"It was us or her." Her eyes softened, the tears stopped racing, and she was relaxing under my grasp. "I don't think you'll have to worry about it though. You'll get what you want. It'll all end up how it should've to begin with."

Her brows knitted together, she yanked away and drew her hand back. My cheek burned with a firm slap. She stormed off down the lawn. God I know I fucked up, but I didn't think it was this bad.

I managed to push everybody away.

All that was left for me was the cold place that never sleeps. NewYork.

~~~
Oct 23. Sunday 4am.

The rain beating against the glass windows caused me to wake up a few times. Eventually I decided to just get up. I took a nap to shake that 6hr staleness off. I wanted to wait it out until morning, but at this rate I might as well get it over with. I hope this isn't all for nothin'. I dug the note out of my pocket to type the address into my near dead phone. I followed it for about another 30 mins until I arrived at one of the houses.

After waiting a while to see if the rain was going to stop it didn't seize. God dammit. I sucked it up and rushed through the pouring rain to a creaky step. I swallowed down my shame and gave a loud knock. There was silence for an awkward period until I heard a gun cock behind the door. Shit. the door cracked, the weapon peaked out, I backed away.

"Sorry." I threw my hands up to let him know I meant no harm. Before I could make another move he grabbed me by the arm and yanked me inside. The lights flicked on and I was met with a mirror. "Makkonen?" I paused, "uh." I didn't know how to just tell him he might be- is my dad.

He pulled me in for a tight hug. "I know I know."

He knew. He fucking knew.

I no longer knew how to feel, Toni wasn't my brother and my actual dad was standing right before me. Tears built up in the rim of my eyes threatening to spill. I let them all fall down my cheeks. "Why didn't you come back for me?"

"I didn't want to interrupt your life. I ain't nothin' but a criminal, a cold hearted killer. I couldn't have you around that." His hold only kept getting tighter and tighter. He wasn't letting go anytime soon, so I gave into it all and gripped onto him for the embrace I've been needing.

"Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. I'd rather live with a killer than a woman beater, If anything I know you would've killed out of love for your people." After a while he finally let go and let me have a look around his place as he went to fix a room for me.

Pictures of him and my mother were all over the place. I even saw a wedding picture along with them kissing the cheeks of baby me. Every photograph only solidified everything. That really is my dad. "Youngin'," he said, poking his head around the corner. "Go get anything you need for the night. Bring it in."

I listened and grabbed all my shit. As I came back in he told me to leave it all at the door and come sit for some leftovers. We sat over heated up hot wings. "Do you know where my mom is?"

"Not exactly. I'm supposed to be meeting up with her on the 25th when this dumbass restraining order is done. Some guy she was with made her get it to keep her from you."

Julius. Everyday I feel less and less guilty. "Mind if I go?"

"I thought you might wanna." He threw away his trash and grabbed my belongings bringing them down the hall. "I'ma turn it in! Help yourself," he yelled from the hallway. I discarded my trash and went in the room. It was pretty empty. Off-white walls with a few pictures sprinkled without, hoodies with infinity logos on the sleeve hung in the open closet, and the smell of weed mixed with air freshener.