Taylor Swift Comfort Imagines

It's not healthy to keep it bottled up

 TW: eating disorder. please don't read if that topic triggers you, you deserve food no matter what. 

Taylor's sister

You'll be 18 in these imagines

People think that my life is simple because Taylor Swift is my sister. But, I still have the same struggles of every teenager, plus pressure and scrutiny from the media. Taylor is great, of course. She is so wise and gives really good advice. The flipside is that it's impossible to hide anything from her. 

People have been saying mean things about me online ever since I was in the public eye. It's gotten worse over the past few years, with people at my school weighing in and saying horrible things about me, sometimes made up things, to make people hate me more. Recently, someone started a rumor that I bullied my friend group, and posted it on TikTok. That's when people got meaner: when they thought I was a bad person and it's OK to say whatever they want about me. Now I know what everyone really thinks about me. I know I shouldn't, but I open TikTok to see what people are saying about me. Inscroll through my for you page. I see some eras tour videos and edits of Taylor. As I scroll, a video about me catches my eye. 

I scroll through the comment section of a video about me on TikTok, criticizing my nose and my body, with the person saying how they don't even know how I'm related to Taylor because she's so beautiful and I'm so ugly. The fan went on to talk about how I needed to eat less and exercise more; the media has been saying this as well lately. I scroll through the comments, not knowing whether people will be defending me or agreeing with the creator. As I open the comments, I see comments calling me ugly, fat, and lazy. All of the cruel comments say liked by creator and have thousands of other likes, too. There are people saying I have no excuse and need to try harder to be healthy. I watch tears fall onto my screen, and I switch my phone off and set it on my nightstand. I turn to my side, trying to fall asleep. All I wanted to do was sleep: it didn't drain me, it let me escape my thoughts for a bit, and to be honest, felt like the closest thing to death. 

I've been having a hard time keeping up with school because my depression makes every single task feel draining. I struggle to concentrate. Even when I did, when I studied for hours and hours, I still didn't get amazing grades. Meanwhile, I had friends who barely studied and had straight-A averages. It takes me longer than other people to fully process things, and all of my classes are fast paced. My counselor told me that my other option is working with my hands, but I'm always messing up at my retail job and I'm not good at mechanical tasks. I am completely and utterly useless.

I'm not exaggerating when I say I could take a nap after brushing my teeth because it takes that much energy. I feel so stupid and lazy. Taylor is known for her beauty and hard work, and I'm ugly and lazy. I'm making her look bad and dragging her down. I wish I could talk to her about it, but she's had so much happiness in her life recently that I don't want to be the one to ruin it all. She deserves happiness, and she most certainly deserves a better sister than me. 

"Hey y/n, I'm home," I hear Taylor call from downstairs. I decide not to answer because then she'll know I have been crying. 

"Did you eat dinner?" I hear her ask. Dinner. The mere idea of it makes guilt creep into my chest, with every voice in my head screaming at me that I don't deserve food. Not just because I'm overweight, but because I am a bad person.

"Yeah, I had some chicken nuggets. I'm sorry I didn't make anything for you," I reply, trying to sound normal. I've gotten so good at lying, but this time my voice comes out more vulnerable than I intended.