Adaa & Pathan

Chapter 12 Letting Go Off The Pain & Move On

Ada's enduring feelings may indeed be tied to the unsaid, lingering in the spaces between her expressed emotions. The strength of her emotions might be entwined with broader life concerns such as aging, the passage of time, unfulfilled expectations, or worries about the life she had envisioned.Perhaps Ada is grappling with the idea of rekindling the relationship with Pathan, harbouring a hope that persists despite their parting. It could be crucial for her to acknowledge this hope, understanding that letting go may be a necessary step in her healing journey.

There might be a fear within Ada that she won't encounter someone else like Pathan. While it's true that each person is unique, and the next relationship will be different, it can bring its own set of joys and fulfillments. Embracing this possibility may open up new avenues for Ada as she navigates the complexities of moving forward.

In a moment of clarity, Ada comes to the realization that loving someone doesn't necessarily dictate that they should be together. This understanding marks a significant shift in her perspective, allowing her to separate the depth of her emotions from the practicalities of a relationship. It becomes a pivotal step towards accepting the complexities of love and the necessity of moving forward, even if it means being apart from Pathan.

Ada's journey of self-discovery leads her to a profound realization â€" that loving someone doesn't automatically mean they are right for her. Confronting this reality head-on becomes a crucial step for her. Understanding that a happy life can coexist with deep sorrow and loss, she grapples with the conflict between her expectations and the actual events that unfolded.

Recognizing that physical well-being may be unaffected, it's her mind that wrestles with the idea that things should have been different. Ada learns to embrace the truth, acknowledging that "This is exactly how it should have been. This is exactly how it is." This acceptance, while challenging, offers a path to inner peace by reducing conflict with the reality she faces. It's a significant step towards finding equilibrium amid the complexities of love and loss.

In a moment of profound insight, Ada acknowledges that the sorrowful aspects of life can coexist with moments of happiness. This realisation allows her to navigate the complexities of her emotions, understanding that both joy and sorrow can run parallel in the tapestry of life. It becomes a pivotal understanding that contributes to her evolving perspective on love, loss, and the intricacies of the human experience.

You don't get over it and you suffer greatly from people supposing you will. You suffer from people not understanding the pain of grief."

Ada found herself entangled in a mix of sadness, anger, and hurt, convinced that moving on was an impossible feat. However, a conversation with her friend shifted her perspective. When asked to envision how she would feel once she was over him â€" free, relieved, eager to embrace life â€" Ada's friend encouraged her to experience those emotions in the present.

By making a conscious decision to move on, Ada's life transformed instantly. This revelation highlighted the power of mindset and the ability to choose one's emotional stance, allowing Ada to navigate the path of healing with newfound confidence and strength.Ada faced well-intentioned advice from friends, urging her to move on from her past relationship. However, akin to bereavement, the notion of "getting over" such experiences might not be applicable. Instead, the key lies in actively moving forward and adopting a new approach if feeling stuck.

The transformative impact of hurtful experiences offers two choices: to either open up more or close down. Opting for the braver choice, which involves opening up to new possibilities, allows space for fresh experiences to enter Ada's life. It becomes a courageous step towards healing and embracing the potential for positive change.

Ada, embracing a proactive approach, decided to confront her emotions head-on. She chose to go inward, sit down, and let her heart articulate everything it desired regarding the relationship and all that was entwined with it. In this introspective journey, Ada gave herself the chance to unravel the intricacies of her emotions.

By creating this space for self-reflection, Ada opened the door to surprising revelations. It became an opportunity to confront and understand her feelings better, ultimately paving the way for a new and different chance to gradually leave the past behind. This intentional act of introspection marked a significant step in Ada's journey towards healing and moving forward.

In a moment of self-reflection, Ada posed a powerful question to herself: "Why worry about things you can't control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?" This shift in perspective reflects Ada's resilience and a determination to focus her energy on aspects of life within her control. It becomes a mantra for prioritizing actions that contribute to her well-being and personal growth, steering away from unnecessary worry over circumstances beyond her influence.Ada grapples with the harsh reality that someone she once loved no longer wants to be a part of her life. The overwhelming rush of emotions and thoughts persists relentlessly, challenging her attempts to move on. Despite conscious efforts to cease remembering, speculating, and thinking about this person, Ada finds herself making little progress. The struggle to break free from the persistent memories and thoughts underscores the complexity of the emotional aftermath when a significant connection comes to an end.

Ada's realization encapsulates the profound truth that relationships, no matter how significant, inevitably come to an end. The real challenge lies in navigating the aftermath â€" dealing with the pain, accepting the reality, letting go, moving on, and simultaneously processing a myriad of emotions. This acknowledgment reflects Ada's understanding of the complex and multifaceted nature of healing after the conclusion of a meaningful connection.

Ada grapples with the internal struggle of forgiveness, acknowledging that while she may never fully forgive him in her heart, she makes the conscious decision to extend forgiveness outwardly. Despite this, Ada recognizes the importance of self-preservation and the inability to trust him again. Choosing not to ask for a second chance becomes a significant step, reflecting her commitment to protecting herself from potential hurt. Ada accepts Pathan's decision and bravely begins the process of moving on with her life, embracing the journey towards healing and self-discovery.

Ada feels a mix of emotions about her ended relationship. She doesn't blame herself, but she's sad thinking about Pathan being with someone else. Even as she has moved on, memories of the good times they had together linger in her mind. It's a complex mix of feelings as she navigates the aftermath of the breakup.Ada realized that her main concern wasn't about the relationship ending but rather about the way she approached each day. She noticed a shift in her mindset, realizing she was thinking with a "victim" mentality, tormenting herself with her own thoughts. In this self-awareness, Ada understood that the key to finding peace and moving forward lay within herself. The realization empowered her to take control of her thoughts and emotions, recognizing that only she could truly help herself.

Ada embarked on a journey of self-discovery, immersing herself in books and articles in search of wisdom that could bring her peace of mind. Through this process, she uncovered the transformative influence of positive thinking and acceptance.

Recognizing her own sensitivity and vulnerability, Ada understood that her way of handling situations differed from others. When someone hurt her, she allowed herself to cry and forgave immediately, avoiding harbouring hatred or seeking revenge. This revelation marked a significant step in Ada's personal growth and her pursuit of emotional well-being.