Adaa & Pathan

Chapter 13 Moving On Was Not So Easy

Ada came to the realization that dealing with a breakup demands immense strength. Determined to navigate through the emotional turmoil, she actively worked on being strong â€" taking control of her thoughts, halting the tears, seeking happiness in the present moment, and gradually letting go of the person she loved deeply, Pathan!!!

Faced with the daunting task of moving on and letting go, Ada asked herself a series of pivotal questions: How could she find the strength? Where should she begin the process of moving on? How could she initiate the journey of letting go? Ada realized that there is no single effective method to deal with a break up.
Ada received a variety of suggestions from people around her. Some advised her to get involved with someone else quickly, while others recommended taking some time alone for a few months. Some even argued that love wasn't worth it, implying that this perspective might be contributing to her pain. The conflicting advice highlighted the diversity of opinions on how to cope with a breakup, leaving Ada to navigate through the options and decide what approach resonated best with her own needs and feelings.Ada learned that moving on is a challenging process, demanding considerable strength, patience, determination, hope, and self-esteem.
Ada faced the realisation that Pathan held a significant place in her heart, and the prospect of forgetting him seemed nearly impossible. This acknowledgment highlighted the depth of emotions she still carried, emphasising the enduring impact he had on her life.

Ada made a decision to allow Pathan to live peacefully in her memory. She decided to stop convincing herself that she could easily move on and chose to embrace the idea of finding peace with the past. This shift in perspective marked a conscious effort to let go and allow both herself and Pathan the space to move forward in their own ways.

Ada committed herself to a difficult but essential step in her healing process â€" refraining from any contact with Pathan. She pledged to stop calling, sending texts, or emails, respecting his decision and the need for both of them to move on. While the process wasn't easy, Ada implemented a self-reminder strategy to discourage reaching out, recognizing that maintaining distance was crucial for both of their emotional well-being and the journey of moving forward.

Ada made a commitment to cease searching for reasons behind the end of her relationship and refrained from dwelling on what she could have done differently. While the temptation to revisit the past and blame herself for perceived shortcomings was present, Ada recognized the futility of torturing herself with these thoughts. Understanding that she couldn't change the past, she embraced the importance of moving forward, acknowledging that the relationship had come to an end, and focusing on the journey ahead.

Ada had a significant realization â€" she needed to stop fixating on false promises made by Pathan. She decided to shift her focus away from what Pathan thinks, does, wishes, plans, and feels. The pivotal shift was recognizing that the primary person of importance now was herself. Ada understood the significance of her own thoughts, actions, desires, plans, and emotions in the journey of moving forward, prioritizing her well-being and self-growth.

Ada adopted a practice of acceptance, making a daily commitment to fully acknowledge and embrace the present situation. She began to believe that there was a reason behind the breakup with Pathan and trusted that it might contribute to her personal growth or lead to something positive, even if she couldn't see it clearly at the moment. This mindset shift towards acceptance became a cornerstone in Ada's journey of healing and finding meaning in the midst of the challenges she faced.

Ada made a heartfelt promise to herself not to harbor hate or wish anything negative towards Pathan. She recognized that harboring negative thoughts would not only harm Pathan but also have a detrimental impact on her own well-being. Ada understood that staying trapped in anger and bitterness would only hurt herself, emphasizing the importance of letting go and fostering a mindset of understanding and positivity.

Ada embraced a crucial aspect of her healing journey by allowing herself to feel and grieve. Recognizing the importance of this process, she didn't feel guilty for experiencing sadness or wishing for a different outcome. Ada gave herself permission to feel the pain of losing someone she loved, Pathan.

Crucially, she didn't hide her emotions or feel embarrassed about hurting. Ada understood that responding to one difficult feeling, like sadness, with another difficult feeling, such as guilt, would only compound the challenges. Instead, she let herself feel whatever emotions arose, with no imposed time limit, fostering a compassionate and patient approach to her healing process.

Ada provided herself with the comforting reassurance of enjoying the sensation of knowing she did everything within her capacity. Whether it was fighting for the relationship, seeking forgiveness, or making other efforts, Ada aimed to cultivate confidence in her actions. This confidence became a shield against future regrets or thoughts of "what could have happened," as Ada could take solace in the knowledge that she made sincere and earnest efforts, leaving no room for lingering doubts about her decisions.

Despite the passing days since Ada's breakup, the process of moving on without Pathan remains a challenging and deliberate effort. Acknowledging that it's neither easy nor an automatic change, Ada starts this journey with the goal of eventually living without the constant presence of Pathan.

Ada recognizes that only she can truly understand her feelings, and she daily reminds herself that life is good and that the pain will gradually subside. She emphasises the importance of not wasting more days dwelling on sadness about Pathan.

In a shift of perspective, Ada chooses to view everything that happens to her as a positive thing, changing how she perceives life, loss, and pain. By focusing on what she can controlâ€"her thoughts, attitude, and reactions- Ada takes a proactive approach to navigate through the challenges of moving on and rebuilding her life.Don't give up hope; give it time! She said to herself