Swim

The past will always resurface

Regina's heart races for a few moments, then she takes a deep breath.

"Okay, so, Cady, you staying for tea? We are ordering Chinese, I'm paying" Regina says, she feels a little bit awkward in the room. Like she doesn't belong in her own house. She hates that.

"Oh, yes, thank you, if you tell me how much my portion is I can pay for it" Cady says, stating what she wants, Gretchen writes it down, Karen writes hers down and then Regina scribbles down her usual order.

She leaves the room, taking in a breath before starting to order her meal. She feels sick to her stomach, today isn't the day she is facing her feelings. No thank you.

Regina's mind buzzes with a mixture of exhaustion and apprehension as she dials the number for the Chinese restaurant. The rhythmic tapping of her fingers against the countertop betrays her inner turmoil. The air in the room feels heavy, filled with unspoken tension.

As she recites her usual order to the person on the other end, Regina can't shake the feeling that something is amiss. She glances at the money laid out on the table for the food, contemplating the weight of her own unease. Avoiding the elephant in the room, she desperately clings to the distraction of mundane tasks like ordering takeout.

Retreating to her bedroom, Regina sheds the remnants of the day without bothering with the comfort of pyjamas. The cool fabric of the sheets provides little solace as she curls up, seeking refuge from the chaos outside and within. The events of the day play on a loop in her mind, a relentless reel that threatens to consume her.

Her heart, still racing from the encounter with Cady, serves as a constant reminder of the emotions she'd rather bury. The comfort of her covers offers little respite as Regina grapples with the conflicting forces pulling at her.

In the dimly lit room, Regina finds herself at a crossroads. This day, fraught with challenges and unexpected encounters, forces her to confront not only external pressures but also the internal struggle she's been trying to evade. The shadows cast by the events of the day stretch across the walls, a stark reminder that some battles can't be avoided forever. Yet, in the cocoon of her bed, Regina remains suspended between facing her feelings and the overwhelming desire to escape into the solace of sleep.

Then there is a knock.

A light, almost silent knock.

And it's on her bedroom door.

"Yes?" Regina calls out, she knows who it is, even if she doesn't want it to be that person.

"Regina, can I come in?" Cady's voice rings out, Regina is wearing a sports bra, she just chucks a pair of shorts on before making her way to the door. She opens it and is met by the strawberry blonde girl.

"Cady" Regina says, she feels her body heat up at the way the younger girls eyes trail up and down her body.

"Oh, uh. I'm sorry" Cady says. Regina raises a perfectly manicured brow, she's not sure what Cady is apologising for, God knows there is a massive list, starting with basically giving her an eating disorder and ending with being so hot- wait, that's not what Regina meant, well, maybe it is.

No.

That's not what she meant.

"What exactly are you apologising for?" Regina asks, she's lay back on her bed again. Cady is awkwardly sat on the edge of the bed.

"I didn't realise that the other's didn't tell you that I was coming over, they said you knew, but clearly you didn't. So, I'm sorry" Cady says, and she seems truly saddened.

"You're apologising for... Karen and Gretchen lying to the both of us? I mean you understand how that sounds right?" Regina holds back a giggle. The ache in her chest lightens, even if only slightly, Cady's smile light up her room. The room that Regina is now acutely aware of. Clothes cover the floor, and empty water bottles on the sides.

Regina flushes, feeling embarrassed of the way she's been living for the past half a year.

"I mean, yeah. But still, your face dropped, with something that looked an awful lot like disappointment when you saw it was me. I didn't mean to cause you distress, I know we made up after everything junior year, but we were never the same. I miss what I felt in the first few days of our friendship." Cady explains, her voice is near a whisper. Regina let out a quiet sigh. She shuffles to the side of her bed against the wall, patting the spot that she previously occupied. Cady settles herself into the spot, scooting near to Regina.

"I think we went through a lot when I was hit by a bus, and I think that we are on the wrong page of our story. We need to put it behind us, I did a lot of shitty things, some I still haven't been able to make right, no matter how many apologies I give. I think time does help but, I think. I mean what would I know." Regina rambles, Cady is silent for a moment and Regina feels the anxiety building.

"I like the sound of that..." Cady whispers, like it's sacred.

Regina slowly sit's back up, having slumped down near Cady. He looks at the light coming through the half-drawn curtains.

"Can we? Start new. The past is always going to be there. I mean I gave you a fucking eating disorder, are we not going to mention that ever? I was awful to you, and you were nice to me, you looked so sad when you knew it was me that was causing all of the stuff happening to you" Cady says, her voice is heavy, despite the light airy tone she uses.

"I'd hope so... If you want to?" Regina asks, she's shy, shyer than Cady was when she first entered North Shore high.

"I do... want to"

Regina feels warmth in her heart.

And the next day, when Regina is lay awake in her bed, her alarm having just gone off, she realised that was the first night she wasn't drowned by her nightmares. That she didn't need her medicine to bring herself to relax and nod off in bed.

It was the start of something she didn't have before.