Swim

Being yourself is hard. Being someone you are not harder

The next day Regina decided to go on a day trip, under hour drive. She doesn't tell them she's visiting because she's worried, they'll turn her down.

She doesn't know how the time passes so quickly but she's soon stood outside Janis and Damian's shared flat. Her prior confidence left her on the elevator up.

She holds her hand just a few inches away from the door. Then she hears a voice behind her.

"Hey, sorry, I've just gotten the shopping, you'll have to wait a- Regina?" Janis's voice asks, Regina turns to look at her, her hand dropping in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, you seem busy. I'll just go." Regina says, grabbing her bag, with homemade cookies, which also may fall under the category of stress baking. She turns to walk away when Janis puts a hand on Regina's arm, halting the girl in her path.

"No, it's okay. Stay, Damian just didn't do the weekly shop last week, so this is two weeks' worth of food. Plus, Damian is dating this new guy and wanted to spend a few hours with him today." Janis explains. Unlocking the door to her flat.

Regina grabs some of the shopping, helping Janis into the good-sized home. Despite it only being one floor (as it is a flat) it has 3 bedrooms, Janis's, Damian's and a guest room. It has a home office, which Janis's has for painting. It has 2 bathrooms and then a kitchen and living room.

Regina hasn't been in this apartment since the day she helped them move in, only because she was trying to do something nice. She stands awkwardly, she feels like she's starting to regret not staying in bed today.

"So, as much as you love me, I know you didn't come here for no reason." Janis says, she's making drinks, strawberry and banana smoothies, which Regina adores.

"Yeah... you're right..." Regina trails off. Janis gives a small smirk, placing the drinks down on her living room table.

"I usually am. But seriously, is everything okay?" Janis is concerned, she'd seen Regina trying to change in the past year and a half.

Regina picks at her nails, she probably needs to repaint them soon.

"I wanted to say sorry, I've been thinking recently, a lot. And the other day, I saw Cady. And it brought back a ton of memories, bad ones. And I had realised that you hadn't had an actual apology from me." Regina explains, Janis is a little confused.

"You did apologise, and I forgave you, remember?" Janis states in confusion. Regina sighs, not out of frustration at Janis but at herself.

"No, I mean. Look, I talked to Cady last night, and she explained how she felt like I hadn't gotten close with her, like I was when I first met her, and I really did want to be friends with Cady at first. So, what I'm saying is, did I do enough for it to be worth you forgive me. Should have I done more?" Regina worries her lip under her teeth.

Janis's gaze softens, "well, first off, I think there's a few things that you may need to face but I think you need to forgive yourself, if you want to do something for me, why not come with me to a club tonight. You can be my straight sidekick to help me pick out a good choice of woman." Janis gives a small chuckle. Regina doesn't see how that could go wrong.

///

"A gay bar?" Regina whispers, turning to face Janis, whom has a mischievous smile on her face.

"If you'd have asked, I would have told you" Janis states in matter-of-fact tone. Janis is wearing a black skintight dress and fishnet tights. A voice in the back of Regina's head is telling her she's dressed wrong.

"I feel stupid now, I mean, my dress is like not the same, it feels stupid, and I look stupid" Regina flushes, she's picking at her tight-fitting light pink dress it shows of her curves, but it also seems... unsuitable" Regina says in embarrassment.

"No, actually you just look like a fem" Janis explains, pushing the door open, showing their IDs to enter the club. Regina pulls a face, she doesn't know what that means, or if it's a good thing or not.

"A fem? What does that mean?" Regina questions, looking around the club, she's got to admit it's better than the clubs she's been to before.

"A fem is a lesbian or bisexual who looks feminine, as people usually think of cuffed jeans and oversized shirts when they think of a lesbian or bisexual woman" Janis informs Regina, the blonde gives a small nod.

"So, you?" Regina asks, her face has a cheeky smile but Janis knows she's not mocking her.

"Exactly. Now what do you want to have drink." Janis changes the subject, her eyes scanning the drinks.

"I want a vodka and coke, and this place does food so i might get a burger, I love burgers when I'm drunk" Regina explains, Janis giggles, like full on giggles which shocks Regina.

"Oh, so you get drunk and then eat until you're sober?" Janis asks, she's known people who ate full loafs of bread before.

"No, I just haven't ever thrown up alcohol before when eating burgers. It works, you should get one too" Regina convinces Janis, who's settled on a Bloody Mary for her drink.

"I'll pass, I think... Actually, you know what, sure" Janis agrees, both of them ordering burgers with their first drink. Regina and Janis sit and talk, like actually talk. About how their lives are at the moment, and how their families have been. Janis's mum had been unwell but was thankfully getting better, Regina will message her mum to see if she will pop round the Sarkisian house. Her mother had been thriving since her divorce to Regina's mum's second husband. She'd even come out as bisexual which was a surprises, and Regina vaguely hopes her mum wasn't too scared to tell her if she did know when Regina was still at home, Regina is worried she could've been the reason her mum stayed married to the jackass that is Alan, Regina hated him, she hates him still.

But either way, somehow, many drinks in, Regina finds someone catching her eye, and it scares her, because she didn't come here to do that, she came here to back Janis up and tell her whether her taste in women is good (which Regina won't actually comment on) but Regina pushes her thoughts back.

Janis is looking over the club and suddenly she points someone out to Regina.
"What about her? With the blonde and brown hair. Wearing a red two piece skirt and crop top" Janis descrives the girl.

Regina soon spots her. She looks the girl over.

"I bet if you go ask her she'll tell you herself and her partner are looking for a threesome." Regina states, she watches the woman for a moment, and then another person walks up to that girl, sure enough the two of them go over to another woman, the first one plants a kiss on that girls cheek.

Janis looks at Regina is surprise.

"How did you do that?" She's shocked, and Regina just shrugs.

They do this a few time and then Janis does something, just to test a theory that's been building since talking to Regina that morning.

She points out a strawberry blonde, although Janis thinks the hair is dyed.

"What do you think about blue shirt, red hair?" Janis says.

Regina doesn't even know she's saying anything until the words leave her mouth and she'll blame it on the alcohol if asked about it.

"She's hot"

Janis's boisterous laugh makes Regina laugh, even if they are laughing Regina herself.