The Memories of White

September

One

Evera

Stepping off the train I looked around, my heavy bag bouncing down the steps before landing on the platform. I left it there since I really didn't feel like carrying it, but a sweep of the platform told me what I had feared the entire train ride: he wasn't there.

With a sigh I pulled out the retractable handle of the large suitcase and propped my overstuffed and oversized handbag on top of it, holding tight to both handles as I started walking towards the train station. The air was cool even though it was only September and I wished I had packed my denim jacket closer to the top of the bag.

I looked around again, searching all the faces around me but he was not there. Lifting my gaze from the people to the surroundings my breath caught in my chest as the beauty of the early fall struck me.

It had been too long since I was here last and the view brought back memories - good and bad. The train station was a small red wooden building nestled between the tracks and a narrow paved road that was bending gently. Next to the train station was a small grocery store and across the street was the only bar in town, the neon sign outside flickering slightly in the dusk. Behind the houses were fields and woods, mostly pines but a few maples and birch trees here and there. At least I thought they were, I wasn't very good at naming trees. The leaves had started changing color and the effect was gorgeous. Behind the fields and trees were the mountains. Where I stood we were practically surrounded by them. The mountains were not very high in this part of the country but they still had snowy peaks.

I looked behind me as the train started pulling out of the station. Watching it leave made me regret my decision to come here, I wanted to chase the train down and jump back onboard and let it carry me to wherever its final destination was, but it was too late.

On the other side of the tracks there were more trees and mountains and I knew for a fact that just beyond that peak, straight ahead, there was a beautiful round lake with water so clear you could see the bottom. I used to swim in that lake when I was little and we used to trek up the small stream that was feeding it to the little waterfall just a couple of miles up. The pool below the waterfall was where I used to love hanging out on those few warm summers days when things were different. When my mom and dad still loved each other.

"Evera!" a man's voice reached into my reveries and I turned around. Dad was over by the side of the station house waving at me. My little brother clinging to his leg looked at me shyly.

"Hi, dad!" I called back and started dragging my bag towards them. When I was close enough my father reached for me and pulled me into a big hug.

"I've missed you," he said. "Let me help you with your bag."
He took the handle from me, turned around and started dragging it around the building.

"Hey Sam," he said, turning his head to the little boy, "do you want to give me a hand?"
Sam nodded and ran forward and grabbed the handle with his small hand. I looked at them for a moment, stunned by the normalcy of the situation, before slowly following them.

The hug had been unexpected and Sam was so much bigger than I remembered him. I tried to recall when I had last seen him - it must have been more than a year ago, he must be six now. I shivered in the cool air and shook my head slowly, I had not been a good sister to him but that would have to change now. I promised myself, and him, that I would get to know him and look out for him and be the kind of sister he deserved.

I had fallen quite far behind so I picked up the pace and caught up with them by a large SUV. Dad was putting my bags in the trunk and Sam was telling him a story. When I neared them, Sam's voice quieted and he looked up at me with uncertain eyes.