The Memories of White

Epilogue

Epilogue

Cillian

The funeral was a circus. Everyone Nora had ever known had showed up to pay their respects. She was cremated of course. Her body hadn't been presentable enough to have an open coffin kind of affair.

I sat at the front of the large church where the ceremony was being held, right next to Evera and her family. She was leaning heavily on me, crying softly. As complicated as her relationship with her mother had been, she hadn't wanted this for her. She loved her.

It put extra strain on her, that most people here had no idea that Nora had taken Evera, and left her to die in the woods. They came up to her, offering their condolences, speaking of Nora as a loving and devoted mother. Even though this was what Evera wanted, to keep the memory of her mother as a positive one, I could still see her flinch at the words.

As for me, well I couldn't say I was too upset about her passing, since it meant that Evera was safe from her. But it did hurt me to see her so sad.

I looked all around the church at the people that had come to say goodbye. My parents were there, Bruce and Jen too, and a lot of other film industry people that had known her.

Jesse and Ed were there too, and Kayla, all supporting Evera. They were not really saying goodbye to Nora, since it was quite clear how they all felt about her. I nodded to them when they caught me looking. Ed and Jesse were spending a lot of time together lately. I guess it was good, since I'd been neglecting Ed for Evera. Kayla seemed to be holding up alright after the breakup with Leigh. She'd actually seemed happier lately. I guess not every relationship could be as awesome as mine. Thinking of mine, I pressed a kiss on to the top of Evera's head. She burrowed even further into my chest.

The service was coming to an end and we all stood up to go outside. We would be driving with the closest family and friends up to the coast, to spread Nora's ashes into the ocean. Evera had decided she would have wanted that, to be free. Since her mother had left no instructions regarding the burial, it had pretty much been up to Evera to decide.

I helped her into her thick coat before leaving the church, and we got into the black town car that was waiting for us outside. Harry, Maggie and Sam would be in the car behind us.

I looked at Evera where she was sitting, her face pale and her eyes red from the crying. She had her hands folded in her lap, and I reached out to take one of them in mine. As I touched her skin she turned and looked at me, the sadness in her eyes threatening to make me cry too.

"I can't believe she's gone. That it's over..." she said quietly. "I know it's wrong to say, but a part of me believes she is better off. This way she won't have to deal with her own demons."

I kept my eyes on Evera's, not saying anything. It didn't feel like a real conversation, more of something she had to say out loud, and this - the back of this car with just the two of us and the driver - was a safe place.

"I miss her though...not the way she was this past year...but the way she used to be."
Looking away from me she studied the passing landscape, her profile backlit by the window.

"Part of me is sad you won't ever know her...the real her. The way she was, because she was a great mom. She was fun and safe and loving. She used to play with me, and she used to make even the most boring school subjects fun. She used to whisk me away and we would travel all over the world, and visit all of the places in my history books. She used to read me stories at bedtime, and make up silly songs for me, and she always did the voices."
Evera grew quiet and lost in her memories.

"The saddest thing is so selfish, that I can barely say it out loud. But the saddest thing is that I'll never again have my mom around. That if I have kids, they won't have a grandma. I miss my mom. I miss her so much..."

The tears started rolling down her cheeks again, glittering in the setting winter sun. Her shoulders bunched up and she looked like she wanted to hide inside herself. I moved closer to her, and wrapping my arms around her I give her my shoulder to cry on.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, "it feels like all I do is cry. I have got to be more trouble than I'm worth."
I shook my head.

"We can't choose our circumstances, and it's not like you chose any of this. Besides you are totally worth all the trouble. Let's just hope there'll be less tears and more laughter from now on."
I kissed her forehead before she pulled away from me. She looked me over and straightened out my hair before saying:

"I cannot believe how lucky I am to have you. And you look so handsome in that suit. You clean up well - thanks for putting up with all my tears."
I kissed her mouth to quiet her, I didn't need her thanks. She was worth all the trouble, and really, I should be thanking her for wanting to be with me.

As the car came to a stop and we got out, she reached out for my hand. Together we walked over the snow, to the spot she had chosen for this.

When we got there she turned and looked at the trail of footprints we had left behind us. It was a perfectly matched pair.

When her eyes met mine again I could see the world in them, and I knew then and there, that it would be alright. She would be alright, and we would be just fine.

The End.