I'm afraid of being him

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Finn notices you sitting on the couch deep in thought with a photo album on the table across from you looking to see four pictures two on each page realizing it was pictures of you as a child smiling at a picture of you as a baby with your then teenage sister followed by one with your mom, you and your nephew playing together, and you on a bed with a man sitting behind you. "I wish I had never found that picture" he turns hearing a small sniffle seeing you quietly crying before taking the picture out with a look of disgust and anger trembling as you roughly place the picture down on the couch feeling your body tense as the emotions you've held in for years slowly ooze out of you "Some days I ignore it but others...god just make me want to yell, hit and throw things, scream, and just...disappear" the emotion in your voice makes his heart break and worry seeing just how much this really affected you "My brother still tries to have a relationship with him, my sister has had her share of bullshit from him...but me, it's like I never existed even when I saw him when I was younger after 12 years and he tried to lie about everything when I knew the truth...I was unwanted and felt completely broken". He walks to you as everything slowly lifts off your shoulders and hits you yet again like a pile of bricks, "I wish with everything in me that I didn't have half of him in me..this has made me feel so much like a burden, I wanted to die because of it" he pulls you into his arms as you breakdown in his arms "I don't want to be like him...I don't want to be him, I'm afraid of being him" he couldn't handle your sobs of agony and inner pain holding you tightly in his arms before pulling away to look at you wiping all the tears and streaks of dried tears pressing a kiss to your forehead "You are the most selfless, kind, honest, patient, big hearted, strongest, rare, open hearted, and exceptional person I have ever met and known, there are so many people who love you so much some you haven't even met yet, and most of all you are not and could never be him" the rest of the night is spent wrapped safely in his arms tangled together all the feelings of care, want, acceptance, patience, and unconditional love that you never gotten and wanted your whole life you had found with finn.

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