𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝙷𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚢 |𝙰𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌

Chapter 25 - Expedition

When she closed her eyes, Mara could still hear Eren's scream, the rage of a teen boy mixed with the shrill screech of a titan. She could no longer separate the two.

Mara felt immense relief seeing Eren again, he looked like the same boy she knew, as if he didn't have the ability to turn into a raging titan at will. She knew it was horrible but all she could picture when she looked at him was the horrific monster that tore apart the other titans in Trost. When Armin and Mikasa spoke to him she couldn't bring herself to do the same, she did that a lot recently. It was like she was trapped in her own mind, screaming at herself to tell her friends she loved them before it was too late. She left every conversation feeling as though she could've said more, done more.

She was suddenly tired, too anxious to repress both her feelings and her fatigue. She could only watch as Jean slated Eren, secretly agreeing with him. Even though Jean always took things too far.

"We're taking part in the upcoming operation, too-"

"Hey, Eren," Jean cut in over Armin, "I heard you tried to kill Mikasa when you turned into a Titan."

Mara turned towards them, her head resting on her hand as she sat with Connie on the table.

"It's not like that," Mikasa said, defensively.

"I'm not asking you," Jean replied, his eyes still on Eren.

"It's true," Eren said, hanging his head, "apparently, I tried to kill Mikasa."

"Apparently? Meaning you don't remember?" Jean said, incredulously, "so, what you're saying is, you never knew about this Titan ability of yours until now and you don't have full control over it?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Mara lifted her head, sitting up straighter as Jean sighed and turned to the rest of them.

"Hear that, guys?" he called out to them, "our lives and the lives of all humankind rest on this guy's shoulders. We'll probably end up dead like Marco, dead before he even knows it."

"Jean, this isn't helpful," Mikasa said, "there's no use chastising Eren for something he didn't ask for."

"You know, Mikasa," Jean said, turning back to her, "not everyone is willing to needlessly die for Eren like you."

Mara frowned.

"All I'm asking is that Eren proves his worth," Jean continued, "and we can see if our lives are worth the same."

Mara shook her head and got up from the table, heading out the room, into the cold air of the Calaneth, unaware that a pair of eyes watching her leave.

Tomorrow they were to begin the expedition, carving a route to Shiganshina to one day find whatever secrets that were lost there. Pushing all distractions from her mind, Mara could feel the steady wave of nerves overtake her as she readied herself for their first official mission as part of the Survey Corps.

She tilted her head back as she looked up at the stars, her breath fogging against the dark, inky sky. She knew it was a surveillance mission, a test run but she was still afraid something was going to go wrong. Mara heard a pair of footsteps come up quietly behind her.

"Hey," Jean said, softly.

"Are you done berating Eren now?"

Jean chuckled, a soft exhale, as he toed the ground.

"I wasn't meant to be that harsh," he admitted, "I just- we should know what we're risking our lives for right?"

"Right."