𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝙷𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚢 |𝙰𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌

Chapter 23 - Conversation

Jean missed Marco. Connie was with Sasha and Mara was... wherever she went when she disappears; it was usually in these moments he'd be with Marco, annoying him about some inconsequential thing or the other. Jean always found himself looking for him, glancing behind to see if he was following, feeling as if there were always one person short. The little group wasn't complete without Marco's quiet responsible presence, the four of them lost without their voice of reason. He wondered if that fractured feeling would ever go away.

When he died, a part of me died with him. Jean remembered Mara's words; a quiet confession spoken in a rush one evening on the training grounds. He'd been sympathetic but hadn't quite understood what she meant. She was still there, the same girl he'd known from before her father's death. But now he understood. He was a different Jean to all the people he knew and when Marco died, he took with him the Jean only Marco knew how to bring out. And he'd never be that person again. Jean felt a sob threaten to wrack his throat.

He rushed out of the dorm, intent on finding Mara to tell her that he got it. It is the worst thing to have to understand and he wished he didn't, but now he really got it. And Jean was consumed with the need for her to know. He felt breathless and full of air simultaneously as he struggled to keep it together. He needed her to know. He needed her.

As Jean walked towards the girl's building he saw a shape in the distance, a dot of black on the banks of the river. He didn't know what even made him look that far out but he knew it was her. He began to walk towards the river, his pace quickening with urgency before the distant figure crouching near the water turned into two. He slowed and saw the moon illuminate the curves of her face as she threw her head back and laughed, actually laughed, he could even hear it. It made Jean stop short; through the haze of his emotions, he wondered when the last time he heard her laugh like that was. Who was he to take that from her?

With a bitter smile, Jean turned around and left the two of them in each other's company.

"Stop Reiner I'm going to combust," she said, clutching her side with one arm, as she held on to him with the other.

"So, there we were in the snow, feet away from the cliffs edge," Reiner continued, spurred on by her reaction to his tale, "Connie stood there, looking like he was about to shit himself he was that scared."

"Oh my god," Mara threw her head back and laughed loudly, clasping his arm in support. Reiner smirked, happy to invoke such a sound from her.

"And you were just laughing," he grinned, "as if you didn't just escape death, barely."

She caught her breath and wiped the tears from her eyes, her face still split into a wide grin.

"Well, I knew Jean was going to follow me, so I would've been fine."

"He was no help," Reiner scoffed, "like a deer in torchlight."

"Rude," she said, "he's braver than you think, Rhino."

"Sure he is."

Mara grinned at him and rolled her eyes, showed what he knew.

"Why did you even run off like that?" Reiner asked.

He regretted the question immediately, as Mara sobered up, a quiet far-off look overtaking her features. She was silent for a while, so long that Reiner thought to change the subject and forget he even asked, but then she spoke.

"You know my earliest memory with my dad was in the snow."

Reiner stayed quiet and looked at her as she watched the horizon.