Dear Diary,
Here I am again, returning to these pages after what feels like forever. How strange it is to write to you again. It seems like a lifetime has passed since I last poured my heart out here. Back then, I was so certain, so blissfully in love with Mizo. I spoke of him with reverence, my Superman, and I thought we were invincible together. But now... well, it's different.
Every morning, I wake up hoping to feel that same warmth in my chest, the flicker of excitement that spread through me whenever I caught his gaze. And yet, more often than not, it's followed by a shadow of doubt that lingers in the back of my mind. While I once felt like the luckiest girl in the world, I can't shake the feeling that something has shifted between us.
It's in the little things: the way he sometimes gazes out the window, lost in thought, as if he's somewhere else entirely. I find myself counting the moments we spend together, desperately trying to recapture what we once had. His laughter doesn't come as easily anymore, and I often wonder if I've done something to dampen that light in him. Does he still see me as the most important person in his life? Or has our love become just another part of his day?
Mizo is still my rock; I remind myself of that. But somehow, the ground beneath us feels less stable. I ache to express my feelings, to bridge the distance I perceive between us, but I hold back. I keep the doubt locked away, terrified of what it might mean if I let it out. If I ask him how he feels, what will he say? Will he assure me, or will his response confirm my fears?
I want to believe in us, in the love we built together, and yet I can't rid myself of this gnawing uncertainty. I crave connection and warmth, the closeness we once shared, but lately, it feels elusive—like I'm reaching for shadows.
Oh, Mizo, my love, my once-solid rock—what happened to us? I wish I could read your thoughts as easily as I read my own.
But for now, I'll sit with these feelings, trying to decipher the silence between us, hoping that one day it will make sense. Until then, I'll confide in you, dear diary, and hold tightly to the remnants of my heart, afraid of what the next entry may bring.
With a heavy heart,
💖
Forever and always,
Charis
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