i want someone to understand how i feel, i want someone to look at me and know something is wrong, i want to get better but i always just make myself worse, and i do it for the pity, i hate myself for it but i do it bc when your sad people ask you what's wrong, and maybe bc its the polite thing to do, but it makes me feel seen, it makes me feel in some way human when i go everyday feeling like some kinda of monster, so yes im an attention seeker, yes i have a weird hunger for people to take pity on me and feel bad for me, because it is the only thing that makes me feel heard, because i know im a terrible terrible excuse of a human being, but being a terrible person makes me something, and that is better then feeling like i will never exist to anyone
