Two Idiots against Evil (GL)

1 - Where it all began

Growing up, people would always tell Rachel that she was 'kinda dumb' or would question how she got her good grades. A lot of her time during high school had been spent proving to her teachers that she wasn't a cheater.

"You really believe her, mrs smith?“, Rachel heard the whispers in the hallway. Her two homeroom teachers were arguing again.
"Well, do you really think she's smart enough to fool us for all these years?"
"But then how-" The door creaked open as Rachel tried to listen closer. "Ah, whatever, I don't wanna discuss this anymore."

"Excuse me, miss?" Her eyes blinked open before immediately closing again.
"MISS!"
"IEEK", Rachel escaped a high-pitched scream. It echoed in the deserted lecture hall, resulting in a bit of an awkward silence.

While Rachel's vision was still blurry, the stranger cleared their throat. "I hope you weren't sleeping through the entire lecture."
She quickly apologized to her professor and left before he could say anything more.

In her defense, she had only dozed off about 15 minutes into the lecture.

...

Yes, she was a bit dense. A bit ditzy perhaps. But in the 20 years of her life, not once had that stopped her from accomplishing her goals.
She had been accepted into medical school. She had gotten a certificate for making a discovery that would possibly benefit humanity and maybe even 'change the fate of the universe' or something. She had overheard one of her professors say that behind closed doors and wasn't entirely sure what it meant but it could only be positive!!!

As she was walking down the hallway, she saw a fellow student sitting in a corner, all alone. He seemed familiar, so they probably has some class together.
"Stupid fucking AAAAAAAA" He started punching his backpack with the determination of a shounen protagonist. Rachel watched him in awe.
After a good five minutes he slumped against his bag, sobbing and calling out to his mom.

Rachel sighed and decided to ignore him. Nothing she hadn't seen on campus before. It was good to know that nothing had changed since last semester!

The moment she left the building, she felt a sudden sense of urgency. Something was wrong. She stopped in her track, putting her hand on her stomach. Right in that moment, it started growling.

"Crap, I haven't eaten today", she mumbled to herself.

The bush rustling all suspiciously next to her went completely unnoticed.

She went to a café and ate some cake. Unfortunately, she fell asleep. As the sun began to set, she was finally chased outside by the owner. She didn't forget to take her cake with her tho!

"He he I can eat this for breakfast tomorrow~"

Rachel had decided to take a shortcut home - a dark alley. There were rumours about this particular alley. Apparently if you walk through it at a certain time, a demon with two different colored eyes will rip off your head and drink your brain like a smoothie. The problem was that nobody knew what time it needed to be so a lot of people simply avoided this place altogether.

Rachel didn't care about rumors like that. She trusted her senses to make sure she would immediately notice if the vibes were off. Then she would make a run for it and survive.

She had almost passed through when she heard footsteps closing in on her from behind.
Ok, she got curious. After she turned around, she was greeted by a pair of eyes, glowing in the dark. One was blue and the other red.

The stranger came closer until she was finally stood directly in front of Rachel.
Instead of running away, as she had planned, she stared at the other's face as if in trance.

She just couldn't help it. "You have pretty eyes."

authors note:
ayoo this is a rewrite from a previous story i wrote. everything is pretty much the same so far its just  a little less silly ig idk i just wasnt feeling it but maybe ill ramp up the goofiness later again :3333