Take Me Away

Solace

I hear my phone vibrate in my bag and go to check it, its from Daiki.
'Nice to know that I can make you faint 😜 , I called your dad to pick you up😌- Hope you guys made it home safe, I'll be over in 5 ✌🏼' ~Daiki👱🏼

Less than five minutes later I hear Daiki calling my name outside of my door before letting himself in. I just finish playing the game on my phone as he sits on the foot of my bed across from me. For a while we don't say anything just basking in the silence.

"Ambi, we need to talk, and I mean REALLY talk, I feel like we can never have a serious conversation anymore," he looks at me intently, probably trying to see through my mask where I locked away all of my emotions.

"I feel as if there are things you aren't telling me, and its killing me, " I cut him off.

"Daiki I -" He decided to cut me off as well.

"No Ambrosia, don't do this, no excuses, you do know that I will always be here for you no matter what, right?" I nod.

"Of course."

"Then please tell me why I feel like your distancing yourself from me lately." I wanted to tell him that it would be impossible for me to tell him the reason for his feelings but I decided against it.

"I'm not." I interjected.

"Then what is it that's stopping us from getting closer?" I knew that this conversation was long overdue but some things Daiki just shouldn't know.

"What is it that you want to know so bad Daiki? You're giving me a headache." He looked irritated, but he smirked.

"Well if I don't understand what's going on with you, how can I be here for you Ambrosia?"

"By just being here," I quickly countered.

"And that's enough?" He asked.

"It always has been," I stated.

"Yeah, but before it started as a game, we were young and you know, you always got better. But I know that its become more than that, right? I just don't understand why, because you aren't telling me why. I even asked your father earlier, he seemed just as worried about you as I am. But we can't help you if you close yourself off like this."

"You talked to my father? And he's worried? Yeah, I bet."

"What is up with you Ambi? Just tell me!"

"Dai-chan, you should really stop prying when you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about." I stated calmly. "Okay?"

I know I shouldn't get mad at him for talking with 'That Man'. He doesn't know what he did to me, that's my fault, right? I didn't tell him. How could I? He'll never see me the same.

"What are you trying to say Ambrosia? That he doesn't care about you? You don't see his face when he runs your unconscious body to the emergency room! He does care about you and he's the only family you have left. So why are you pushing him away Ambi?!" How did this conversation even turn into talking about 'That Man'? Family? No. He's not my family.

" I really don't want to talk about him right now. Or ever for that matter. "

"Okay. I also came over to talk about your 18th birthday, since its coming up."

"What about it?"

"Did you ever think about getting a passport?" A few years back I tried getting a passport. To America. Courtesy of Daiki, it was his idea then as well. That plan didn't go very far though because 'That Man' refused to sign for me. I'd thought he would happily send me away, by he told me that I had to stay here until I was 18 and no longer.

"He's putting me out once I'm 18 you know?" I remind Daiki.

"Well I'm sure he'll let you finish the school year at least."

"I doubt it, I bet he'll change the lock and key as soon as the clock hits 12. I wouldn't want to over stay my welcome anyway." Heavy sarcasm.

"Again you're down talking your father, why do you hate him so much Ambi?"

"If I told you you'd hate me, just like he hates me. You'll look at me with the same eyes as him, I don't want you to look at me that way Daiki. You're all I have left," I contemplate telling him because at the moment it seems all topics lead back to talking about 'That Man' but I don't want to lose Daiki, he really is all I have.

"Ambrosia," he says says stroking my face with his hand, "there is nothing you can tell me that will make me look at you any different, my feelings for you can only increase you know, I told you before- you're stuck with me. I really do love you." I can't understand why Daiki has so much faith in me, but I have so little faith in him. I want to believe in him but he doesn't know what it is that I'm keeping from him so how can he say that he will still see me the same?

"Ambi, just let it out," Daiki says with so much athority that I have no choice but to tell him.

"Okay, but promise me you won't say a word until I finish."

"I promise," he says intertwining his fingers with mine.

I'm nervous, I don't even know where to start.

'Just start from the beginning' Okay, from the beginning it is.

I release a deep breath that I didn't even realize that I was holding in.

"Ever since I was about 9 my father would come into my room at night and rape me..." I then proceed to tell him every little detail of the atrocious story of my father and I.