Else-waya, upon Chick-a-Pin Hill, ol' Brer Fox was doin' mail call.
Helpin' 'im was Brer Jeremy's best pal. He was anodda fine lookin brit. A more trained musishin wit glasses, Chad Stuart. Brer Chad ter de crittas.
"Tanks fo helpin' out wit mail call, Brer Chad. Try not ter mess it up" say Brer Fox.
"Please. I think I can handle reading names" say Brer Chad.
Den day wuz approached by a handsome yungsta. A fine lookin' actor frum Califo'nia. Burt Ward by name, or Brer Burt ter de crittas.
"Since I never get any mail, can I go do anything else?" he say.
Brer Fox, he hand de boy de phone book. "Heeah's sum'n fo ya, mister current resident."
Brer Burt, he give de book ter Brer Chad. "Here you go, Chad. Now you can call your wife whenever you need to."
Den he leave sadly.
"Her number's unlisted" say Brer Chad.
"Den list it!" sez Brer Fox, sezee. "But I does feel turrible fo Brer Burt. He nevah gets no mail."
Brer Chad, he nod in agreement, but he feel a li'l left out. "I haven't gotten any mail since I came to the mountain."
"But you's a celebr'ty. Yo English fans can't find ya" say Brer Fox.
"Right. I have fans in England" say Brer Chad wit sarcasm.
Den Brer Fox, he get an idea. "Maybe we can write lettas ter Brer Burt. Likes we was a gal frum de norf who saw 'im cummin outta de Batcave."
"I suppose if it's not dangerous" say Brer Chad.
"He's Burt Ward! He used ter danja!" Brer Fox laff.
Meanwhile, at de Fishin' Spot, ol' Brer Jeremy wuz tunin' his guitar, thinkin' bout wut he said ter Sis Patty.
"Oh, I'm such a wanker" he cry.
"No argument here" sez Brer Bear sezee. "What we talkin' bout?"
"I choked and said thanks when Patty told me I meant everything to her" say Brer Jeremy.
"Oh. Den you is a wankah" say Brer Bear.
"That's big talk for a bear in such a tiny hat" sez Brer Jeremy sezee. "Oh, I hope I can get through this music class without it being too awkward."
Den he sidown next ter Sis Patty, who turn away sayin' "What's cookin', Clyde?"
"Awkward!" say Brer Bear.
He sidown next ter Brer Rabbit. "I tink Sis Patty's mad at Brer Jeremy. Also, I think these li'l hats is werkin' fo me."
"Well, ya got one o' doze tings right" say Brer Rabbit.
Brer Jeremy, he face de crittas sittin' in front o' him. "Before we start, we have some tips for you."
"Your first tip is if you're playing a duet, appreciate your partner" sez Sis Patty sez she. "She's really putting herself out there and deserves to know how you feel."
"Well... you also don't want a partner who puts a lot of pressure on you when you just want to sing a relaxing song like A Summer Song" say Brer Jeremy.
Now Sis Patty, she sorter mad. "A Summer Song? That's it? Do you have a different seasonal song for every girl you've ever dated?"
Brer Rabbit, he laff at Brer Jeremy's fear. "Brer Jeremy is sweatin' throo his jacket!"
"Patty, can we please not talk about this?" say Brer Jeremy.
"Oh, don't worry! You and I won't be talking ever again!" Sis Patty holla.
Den she march away frum de Fishin' Spot, leavin' Brer Jeremy hurt.
"Duz dis mean Sis Patty's available?" say Brer Bear.
"Keep dreamin', hat trick!" say Brer Rabbit.
YOU ARE READING
Jelly Side Up! (Uncle Remus style)
FanfictionTo celebrate the one-year anniversary of my Youtube movie "Jelly Side Up!", I've decided to re-write the story in the style of an actual Uncle Remus story.
