The Forbidden Fruit (taglish)

08

The soothing sound of nostalgic wind, chirping of birds, and the noises of city reverberrated throughout the whole quiet cemetery.

Charlie, who was sitting peacefully on the green—withered grass was so lost in the reality of her own thoughts as she stared particularly at the Hibiscus flower.

“She loves me.”

“She loves me not.”

Tanging ang dalawang sentensya lamang na iyon ang paulit ulit na binibigkas ng kanyang isip habang isa isang binubunutan ng hibla ang bulaklak ng gumamela na kanyang hawak.

Charlie gently bit her inner bottom lip. She's contemplating, and at the same time she knew she was fucked for taking up such a silly challenge like this. Crazy, she hasn't been playing this. Charlie also never did it just to find out if the person who eased her heart thought of her too yet she made herself fool for doing it.

Charlie knew this isn't worthwhile but nevertheless, she decided to continue despite the uneasiness she feels. “She loves me.” she mumbled.

Just then, napatikhim sya. Isang hibla na lamang ang natitira sa bulaklak na iyon and knowing what could be the next somehow annoyed her. Ngunit bago nya pa man bigkasin ang kasunod ay inihagis nya ang nag-iisang hiblang iyon at huminga ng napakalalim bago muling ibinaling ang atensyon sa puntod ng kanyang ina.

She then again heaved a soft breath as she touched her mother's grave. Charlie misses her so much. Dalawang buwan ang mabilis na lumipas mula nung huli nya itong nadalaw kaya hindi nya mapigilan na maging emosyonal ngayon. Samantala noong nasa poder pa sya ng kanyang tiyo at tiya ay walang araw na hindi sya dumadalaw rito. Sa tuwing may problema rin sya'y dito kaagad ang diretso nya. Kinakausap nya rin ang ina tungkol sa mga bagay at sa kung anong mga ganap sa kanyang araw kahit na alam nyang napakalabo na sya nitong imikin pa. Muli syang bumalik rito matapos ang masayang bonding nila ng kanyang tiyo at tiya. Sinulit nya ang pagkakataon at buong araw na kasama ang mga ito lalo pa't alam nyang medyo matatagalan na naman bago nya sila muling makasama. Hindi rin biro ang byahe mula Baguio to Manila na kung sasadyaing susukatin ay 248.9 kilometro ang layo at mahigit dalawang oras ang byahe. Kaya kahit na gustuhin nya man na araw araw silang makasama ay mahihirapan sya.

Halos magdadalawang oras na syang nakasulampak sa damuhan. Tahimik lamang na ninanamnam ang payapang paligid at nilalasap ang simoy ng hangin. Oh, she couldn't help hoping that her mind would be this peaceful and quiet as well.

However, looking down at the present she had brought for her beloved mother, Charlie pursed her lips as she picked up the scattered grass and wiped away the dust that was almost covering her mom's grave. She caressed it softly with her fingers and smiled bitterly.

“If only it were possible for me not to leave, I won't leave yet. I still want to be with you, ma.” her voice cracked.

She then let out a content sigh after being engulfed with silence. “Alam mo ba, I can sense that he was somewhat a great person, ma. Hanggang ngayon gusto ko pa rin malaman kung anong nangyari sa inyong dalawa noon. I'm still very confused.”

Napakadaming tanong sa kanyang isipan na tanging ang kanyang ina lang ang makakasagot. Wala rin kasi syang matanggap na mga kasagutan sa mag-asawa kaya kahit punong-puno na ng katanungan ang kanyang isip ay hindi nya magawang makakuha ng sagot mula sa mga ito.

Gayundin sa kanyang ama, may mga pagkakataon na gusto nya itong komprontahin tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng pangalawang pamilya. May parte rin sa kanya na gustong kumpirmahin kung totoo nya nga ba talagang kapatid ang babae na walang ibang ginawa kundi bigyan sya ng sama ng loob at sakit ng ulo.