A Dangerous Deal

Chapter 7

I wake up in the morning, feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time. I reach my arms over my head, clasping my hands together, and giving myself a good stretch. Everything felt great this morning, a little too great until I realized today was the day of the party. That feeling of refreshment quickly turned into feelings of disgust. I knew that this was what I wanted to do. No more like what I needed to do. At this point my parents had left me with no other choice but doing something as crazy as this.

There was another particular feeling that was making me feel nauseous. I don't believe it was any feelings of guilt, but instead I think I was feeling fear. I wouldn't describe myself as an anxious person but today there was more anxiety filling me than I've ever felt before. Knowing that after today everyone's eyes would be on me was terrifying. Rafael was already used to the attention but I wasn't. I was just a background character who happened to be smart. The only reason anyone ever talked to me was because I was smart and they always wanted to partner with me. No one ever saw me as a person they would date or even be friends with.

I could feel myself spiraling. I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew it would be a little difficult when adjusting. Now that it was actually happening, everything finally hit me like a truck. The reality of the situation finally settled in my chest and it hurt more than anything. I couldn't breath, I started hyperventilating, I clung to my chest because it hurt so bad, tears forming in my eyes, and my head feeling fuzzy. I couldn't control myself and that scared me even more and sent me spiraling even worse. I suddenly heard my phone buzz and I tried to snap out of it, thinking it was my parents texting me. I look down at my phone to see it wasn't my parents but it was Rafael,

Rafael: We're going to do great today. I know you can do it, you're the smartest person(besides me)that I know. I'll see you tonight, Rhea.

When I read that I immediately calmed down. Why did that idiots text calm me down? Maybe it was just what I needed to hear right now and it happened to come from him, yea, that's all it was. I'm grateful that he texted me, otherwise I don't know how long it would have taken me to calm down; if I would have calmed down at all. I knew people had panic attacks all the time but I never thought it would happen to me. My parents conditioned me to be perfect so how was I supposed to know how to handle these kinds of things?

I read his text again and took a deep breath, making sure I didn't spiral all over again. I couldn't afford to waste more time dealing with this. For whatever reason, that big idiot's text worked like a charm and I kept finding myself reading it anytime I felt like I was going to spiral. All morning while I was getting ready I swear I read the text at least sixty times before I even left my dorm for the day. As much as it pains me to admit it, he really is saving me today. Whatever man spell he placed on me was working like a charm; I couldn't thank him enough for that. Although, I wouldn't tell him that right to his face, it would just make his head swell.

When making my way to class my head started to rush again. Unfortunately for me I couldn't use my phone anymore, knowing my father would notice right away and he would scream at me again. I couldn't have him being suspicious of anything I was doing and then take away my phone. That would make things a lot more complicated and honestly I couldn't handle this being more complicated than it already was. Trying not to focus on it, I keep heading to class, knowing that once I was there that I could throw myself into studying and relax my mind for a little while.

Right before I reach class I bump into someone. Seriously, why does this keep happening? I really need to watch where I go. I rub my forehead and look up to apologize to see Cara glaring at me, her eyes widening when she realized it was me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you," Cara starts, flaring her arms at me, "I get we aren't really friends anymore but that doesn't mean you need to bump yourself into me. I don't need your germs on my nice clothes. Clearly, by the looks of it, you seem to be struggling without me. I mean look at what you are wearing, I knew you dressed horribly but this is taking it next level, Rhea. So glad that you are finally showing your true colors sweetie. Bump into me again, and I will be the least of your problems." She walks away, tossing her hair in my face as she walks by me.