forever // m.c (book 3)

30 - maybe it's all part of a plan

song for the chapter: thinking out loud by ed sheeran

Summer's POV

"What is it, Michael? You've been looking like you want to say something for the past half hour." We were sitting in the ice cream parlor, their only customers at this late hour, and waiting for Hope to finish eating.

Michael bit his lip, clearly contemplating something. "Ok," he sighed, starting. "I know this isn't ideal and I've messed things up before, especially this part. I thought I would give it one last try though, third times a charm right?" He let out a nervous laugh.

"You're acting weird, dad," Hope said. She likes that blue ice cream that I don't really know the flavor of and it was covering her face. I wondered how much of the ice cream she actually ate.

"Michael..." I said, wondering if he was talking about what I thought he was, which I was not prepared for. Actually, I was never prepared for any of my life with Michael. Everything had seemed to be thrown my way, causing a whirlwind of emotions.

"Babe, let me finish. Please?" I nodded, letting him know to continue. "What I mean, by this not being ideal, is that I don't have a ring." He clumsily got out of his chair, the legs scraping against the tile floor and got down on one knee. I knew I shouldn't be shocked because he had hinted at this earlier, but my jaw dropped the slightest bit.

"Daddy, why are you on the floor?" Hope interrupted, causing us both to laugh.

"Trying to be romantic," he told her, blocking his mouth from me. The moment was cute, as Hope nodded, exaggerating her movements and pretending like Michael was telling her a secret.

"Anyway," he turned back to me. I had calmed slightly, but was still quite nervous. "I love you Summer. I always have, but you know that. I know marriage hasn't worked for us in the past and it's not needed to prove our love, but I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm committed to you and I want to solidify that commitment by becoming your husband." I looked into his eyes as he spoke, his voice raw from the show and full of emotion. "So, what do you say Summer? Will you marry me?"

I was about to speak when Hope yelled, "Say yes mommy!" She was now standing in the red plastic booth. Michael and I both laughed again, and I knew I didn't want to be spending my life with anyone else. Michael and Hope were my whole life and I wanted it to stay that way.

Instead of answering I leaned forward and kissed the love of my life on the lips.

"Is that a yes?" he murmured, his lips still on mine.

"Of course it's a yes," I answered, leaning in to give him another kiss.

***

Later that night, I laid awake in the hotel room. Hope slept, snoring softly, in the other bed and Michael was asleep next to me, one of his arms over my chest.

I couldn't sleep even though I was exhausted from shopping with Jordan and the boys' concert, as well as getting engaged. I slipped out from Michael's embrace and went to the small desk. I turned on the light, hoping it wouldn't wake either of them up. I sighed with relief as they both remained snoring. I pulled my notebook out from my backpack and turned to a blank page.

Getting engaged again made me think of my mother. I thought of her almost everyday, but right then I was missing her. She wouldn't be there at my wedding and she had missed many other milestones in my life. Even though my life was turning around and I should be happy, a pang of sadness had overcome. The thing that my psychologist told me about writing down my feelings quite some time ago had helped before so I turned to it now.

Dear mom,

I wish that you'd never gotten sick and passed when I was young. It makes me think of how differently everything would've turned out. But maybe, this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe it was your time to go and maybe it was to make Adam and I, even dad, stronger. It hurts like hell that I can't just pick up the phone and call you. I miss your voice and how you used to play Amazing Grace all the time.

It's weird, but back when I was in my coma I remember seeing you. It was probably just a figment of my imagination but you made me stronger. You helped me get better and wake up and I have to thank you for that. Without you, I wouldn't be getting married and finally, finally being the family we should've been all along. I hate that you won't be there when we do get married, but I know you'll be watching over us. You always do, don't you?

I sat back and read it over, tears pricking my eyes. I heard rustling behind me and set my notebook down on the desk.

"Summer? Is everything ok?" Michael asked, blinking his eyes to adjust to the light. I glance at the digital clock and realize that it's nearly four a.m.

"Yeah," I nodded and closed the notebook. I slipped it back into my bag and turn the light off. I crawl back under the covers, Michael's arms enveloping me into a hug. "I just couldn't sleep. I was missing my mom. Even though she's been gone for so many years, she was the first person I wanted to tell about us getting engaged."

"Oh, Summer," Michael sighed, kissing my forehead. "I'm sure she knows."

A couple tears escape my eyes. Michael noticed and wiped them away. "I love you," he told me as we shifted into a comfortable position. "I know I don't know your pain and can't quite understand it but if you want to talk, I'll listen."

I shook my head. "No, but thank you. I feel better now and I love you too." I snuggled closer to him, his skin warm against mine. I fell asleep soon after, Michael's steady breathing calming me.

oh my god this is so sappy i want to puke but i want a michael clifford so bad, ugh. please vote and comment, only the epilogue left! xx zoe