(( ON HOLD EDITING ))luna [[ m.c. a.u ]]

09

LUNA

It had taken about three days of feebly throwing up all over myself to recover, to finally get back to the numbing phase once again.The days seemed so long as if someone was purposely pausing it and dragging the day out longer and longer.. And god did each passing moment worry me, it was as if my mind was a record, one that had been on repeat for decades, slowly the words in my mind sounded like a blur and i wasn't sure if it was lack of oxygen or that maybe the vomit had somehow gotten into my brain.. it felt like what i imagined drowning to feel like.. I had not seen Michael since he asked me to lay with him, i think. Being with myself for that amount of time reminded me of why i hated not being distracted, being left with your thoughts makes you very lonely even though you may never be alone.. the voices a constant reminder. Sitting up, i pushed the pillow back to give me some sort of relief. Reaching for the same piece of paper and pen i decided to write.

drowning in a nostalgic current

of charred lips against soft skin

torn sheets and lifeless clothes thrown upon the floor

god how i wish i could just sleep in those sheets once more

and to feel your touch the way it caressed skin like delicate summer rains

you come to me in a down pour, or in an afternoon midst of rain

you come gently like a day dream

then you would drown me in violent rages

there is no safety here

no way to survive such extremities

but it's the only thing that reminds me of what loving you was like

it was everything at once or nothing at all

and loving you meant nothing in-between

Luna simply couldn't find a reason to cry, much like when your eyes dry so you result to making other parts of you cry, whether it is behind your left knee or along your right arm.. Luna just couldn't seem to cry. And this vacant sadness she had within her was worse, for at least the tears seemed to soothe her.. Despair is what she felt.. Incompetent of all feeling but this numbing tingle that swallowed her core.

—————

MICHAEL

I couldn't keep doing this sneaking around stealing tapes to make her music, but god if i knew that was the thing keeping her here i would do it over and over again. As if maybe she would wait to listen to the next track and then realise she had a few more tapes to listen to, the murmurs of Alex Turner cradling her like my arms should've. Pulling the tape out and writing on it once more i shoved it into my pocket before leaving.

—————————

She laid with half of her body wrapped in her blanket the other half sprawled around it, her cheeks slightly flushed, she snored lightly like she always did. Taking the pen and note from her hand i attempt to read the latest addition.

'of charred lips against soft skin

torn sheets and lifeless clothes thrown upon the floor'

'and to feel your touch the way it caressed skin like delicate summer rains

you come to me in a down pour, or in an afternoon midst of rain'

I could imagine her pressing lightly on the pen, writing with the same pen and the same god damned worn piece of paper.. God she was so fucking beautiful and for every breath she took it was as if the whole world attempted to take life from her.. Christ it just wasn't fair you know.. I mean there are so many bad people who just roam around.. Then there's innocent ones.. The vulnerable types, who always seem to leave before they were supposed to.. Fuck i just wish this place wasn't such a mess, this commercially driven and self obsessed place was drowning all the pure ones and fuck how i wish i could keep her head above the current..

Walking over to her table I sit down the new mixtape labelled 'breathe' thinking about the songs i hoped she'd like them.. I tried to vary it slightly but maybe they were just melancholy tunes and maybe i was just a fuck up for making it.The tape included:

track 01: Breathe Me - Sia

track 02: Drunk - Ed Sheeran

track 03: I Miss You - Blink 182

track 04: Oblivion - Bastille

track 05: Shelter - Birdy

track 06:Unsteady - X Ambassadors

track 07: Is there somewhere - Halsey

The last track made me think of how i ought to just cradle her. She shivered slightly, quietly stirring as she pressed her back to me body our bodies gently spooning. Pressing my lips to her hair i kissed her softly,bringing my arms around her scooping her up so that my hands laid limply at her hipbones. She was so beautiful her sweat pants gently cupping her waist while her shirt hung loosely, her bra absent..Sliding my hands from her hipbones, gently past her stomach and to her breasts..cupping them gently and squeezing .. her mouth gasping at the touch.. taking one hand and moving her hair.. I gently kissed her neck planting soft purple planets that would collide like lonely souls or lost lovers at an airport arrival gate..She pressed against me arching slightly in response to my hands..

Humming against her neck she moaned quietly. Slipping my hands from her shirt she turned to face me looking up at me half asleep and half awake.. And god was she beautiful.. she looked like dying suns upon mountains and the gentle smile that graced her lips reminded me of a silvery moon crescent upon a quiet lake.

LUNA

His eyes stared intently at my bottom lip that rested between my teeth, thought it was his smile that really gave him away.. His smile slightly curved up to one side pushing my lips against his, i sucked on his cold lips and couldn't help but tangle my fingers in his hair. His hands tugged at my top, before sliding it above my head and tossing it to the floor. His lips surprised me his tongue gliding across my bottom lip..His hands cupping my breasts made me gasp against him..He pulled away and smiled, he knew he had this affect on me.

"You know i think we should.."his low murmur echoed against my neck.

Placing my hands around his neck, slightly tugging at the nape of his neck, allowing my lips to drown upon his..

His hands cupping my breasts i straddled him, placing my hands around his neck. He reached up to me his smile becoming visible as he pulled away ... pushing myself against him i moaned gently against his neck.. His hands glided down to my hips where he swayed me from side to side ..

MICHAEL

It was her soft giggle that pushed me over the edge, the way she bit her lip as her knuckles gripped the worn sheets, her gentle moans and exhausted laugh..

I swear if i was given an eternity it wouldn't be enough to love her as she deserved, god she frustrated me though, i felt i could never really give her all of what i should be able to..partly because i was dead and partly because i didn't want her to die.

LUNA

He seemed exhausted as i laid upon him, attempting to catch my breath..I knew he was hiding something from me and that he was thinking of something, something i should know..But i wasn't going to challenge him,not now.. His hands drifted to my back gently caressing up and down against my spine.It is for moments like these that we breathe for the moments of pure intimacy and for the moments where our cluttered minds become ripe purples upon our lovers necks..

A/N

WHOA okay i just wrote smut in class oops

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SONG/BAND??? COMMENT BELOW !!!