(( ON HOLD EDITING ))luna [[ m.c. a.u ]]

10

So it has been decided, before we could even decide that we would come into this world whether by fate or mishap, either way we are here. We have a heart beat and oxygen within our lungs, though for how long this will be the case, none of us know.. So just maybe it is wise to live as if it is the end, as if the burning sun in the distant is really the distant flames that will soon consume what you knew to be of life. To live in places that make us feel lost, loosing ourselves but ultimately finding the truth within the blur of a million faces, or maybe in the splendour of grass leaves in a town that has the same population as the number of fingers on your right hand. But wherever you live, wherever you retreat for a warm coffee or tea, the people you let in and the people you let pass, remember what it feels to be alive and never let that go.

MICHAEL

"I'm sorry but I just can't it's too hard to explain and well I just don't know how to say it.." fuck my words won't come out and I know she wants an answer..

"I won't understand, what do you mean for god sake..?" she fought I knew she wouldn't let it go.

"I want to tell you, god do I want to tell you but I can't, I can't put you in that danger, you have to trust me." I glanced up and I could tell she was almost itching to slap me.

"If you wanted to protect me you'd tell me." she spoke angrily.

"I just, well it's not that simple okay?"

"If you loved me you'd tell me.." she crossed her arms like a small child wanting the reaction she knew she would get..

"Luna." I attempted at collecting myself.

"Why would you ever want to be this." Pushing her against the door gently biting on her lower lip.

"To never feel this touch.." my hands gripping her breasts.

"To never feel this warmth.." my fingertips tracing her cheeks.

Taking her lips on mine, her gasp rewarding my intentions..

"Tell me you wouldn't miss this?" "Convince me you wouldn't.." "But don't you lie for my sake."

"Michael this I can't, I just.."

"Just leave, I cannot think with you touching me, let me breathe by myself .. I can no longer rely on you.. I've been doing that for too long, you'll leave me I know it.." her gaze fixed on the window, her eyes seemed to be almost glazed, seemingly with regret.

"Luna I will never leave you - I have only ever wanted this, you give me an existence I no longer have - I exist through you.." drawing in a breath I continue, trying to soothe myself, running my hands along my jeans. "It is selfish that I love you and that I cannot be what you deserve, but I will not deny myself the chance to exist, not when I know you love me."

"You just don't understand I need time, I need space and you have all the time in this world for fuck sake, I don't, I'm dying and you're dead so why don't you just let me be.."

"Luna I know you don't mean this.. Christ tell me you don't mean this." I couldn't control myself picking up the book beside her bed and throwing it.."

"Get out, you don't get to treat me this way." She retorted she look scared, I immediately stopped and wanted to hug her I couldn't believe she was scared of me... I shouldn't have lost my temper like that.. I love her..

"I'm sorry , I'm so sorry." Moving towards the door she put her hand out to stop me from coming closer.. Never in a moment had I ever felt quite so dead..

"Michael, please just leave."

LUNA

I couldn't stand watching him leave, the way his face dropped, I couldn't believe I told him to leave like that. Now that I had time to think I could do anything but think.. it seemed all I could remember is the feel of crimson at my cheeks and his hands around me..