Raised By Wolfstar: Slytherin Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

Chapter Fifteen: Godric's Hollow

When Harry woke the following day it was several seconds before he remembered what had happened. Then he hoped, childishly, that it had been a dream, that Allison and he were still together and that she had never left. Yet by turning his head on his pillow he could see Allison's deserted bunk. It was like a dead body in the way it seemed to draw his eyes. Harry jumped down from his own bed, keeping his eyes averted from Allison's. Tracey, who was already busy in the kitchen, did not wish Harry good morning, but turned her face away quickly as he went by. Theodore was sitting at the table, his face's focus unnaturally absorbed by the apple slices on his plate.

She's gone. Harry told himself. She's gone. He had to keep thinking it as he washed and dressed, as though repetition would dull the shock of it. She's gone, she's not coming back, and it's all my fault. And that was the simple truth of it. Harry knew, because their protective enchantments meant that it would be impossible, once they vacated this spot, for Allison to find them again.

He, Tracey, and Theodore ate breakfast in silence. Tracey's eyes were puffy and red; she looked as if she had not slept. Theodore didn't look well rested either. They packed up their things, Tracey dawdling. Harry knew why she wanted to span out their time on the riverbank; several times he saw her look up eagerly and he was sure she had deluded herself into thinking that she heard footsteps through the heavy rain, but no spiky-bobbed figure with a pink headband appeared between the trees. Harry was no better however, as every time he imitated her, looked around (for he could not help hoping a little, himself) and saw nothing but rain-swept woods, another little parcel of burning remorse exploded inside him. He could hear Allison saying, 'You don't love me anymore!', and with tears in his eyes he resumed packing with a hard knot in the pit of his stomach.

The torrential rain from the night before had caused the muddy river beside them to rise rapidly and would soon spill over onto their bank. They had lingered a good hour after they would usually have departed their campsite. Finally having gotten rid of any sign anyone had stayed there three times, Tracey seemed unable to find any more reasons to delay: She, Theodore, and Harry grasped hands and Disapparated, reappearing on a windswept heather-covered hillside.

The instant they arrived, Harry dropped their hands and walked away from them, finally sitting down in the grove of heathers; his face in his knees, shaking with twelve hours or more of suppressed sobs. He could hear Tracey also crying somewhere nearby, and Theodore setting up the tent and protective enchantments. After a couple of minutes, Theodore became silent and soon Harry registered him sitting next to him. Harry felt his foster brother pat him gently on the back.

'Let it all out, it'll be ok,' he said at first, then when Harry began to calm down he added, 'what finally broke down your walls, leaving the little island without her with us?'

'No,' Harry choked between shaky breaths, absentmindedly he picked one of the heathers and put it in his pocket, 'I think that's why Tracey broke. No, it's just these flowers...they're...'

'Allison Heather Runcorn...' Theodore said slowly in realization, and that was the last time any of them spoke her name.

They did not discuss Allison at all over the next few days. Harry was determined never to mention her name again, he felt so betrayed and heartbroken, as did Tracey, and Theodore seemed to know that it was no use forcing the issue with either of them. After that first morning Tracey never cried again over Allison, but late at night when Harry was sure the other two were asleep he couldn't stop the deep sobs from escaping him.

As time moved on Harry had started bringing out the Marauder's Map and examining it by wandlight. He was waiting for the moment when Allison's labeled dot would reappear in the corridors of Hogwarts, proving that she had returned to the comfortable castle, protected by her father's intimidating status. However, Allison did not appear on the map, and after a while Harry found himself thinking about Remus, Canini, and his uncle Ted. He knew most of his life that his uncle was Muggle-born, but for some misguided reason he had thought the Pureblood status of his aunt Andromeda and their wealth would spare him the treatment other Muggle-borns were facing. That illusion was shattered now, as Colin's portion of Potterwatch had confirmed that he was on the run.