my personal writings.

people.

'why is everything so loud yet quiet?' Sierra's ears were bombarded by her classmates' laughters across the room. they laughed uncontrollably when Faith made several ugly distorted faces. Sierra did not bother them. Her numbing thoughts were loud enough that they overpowered everyone's noises. 'wait. thoughts? so i have thoughts of my own? what am i always thinking about?' she never knew. all she knew was that she was always absent-minded. she was never aware of her surroundings. 'people always assume that when a person is quiet, they have loud thoughts. but it's not the case for me. i don't even know if i have thoughts of my own. it's like i'm not in my body at all. i'm disconnected. wait. this is one of my thoughts, right?'

'hey. you look troubled.' Faith's face was right in front of Sierra's. his slim body leaning downwards to reach Sierra's height, with his elbows on Sierra's desk, his face gently resting on one of his palms.

Sierra sighed. 'i'm not." she turned her head away, avoiding Faith's piercing gaze.

'i guess my jokes aren't enough to entertain you, huh?' Faith stood straight while he giggles softly.

Sierra looks up. in front of her was what people would describe- a perfect human being. i dislike it. no one is perfect, and everyone knew that. but people would still see him as 'the perfect one'. perhaps people never wanted to see what's beneath the surface. this upsets me for some reason. the thought that no one would even bother to see what you had to offer, the fact that people would see you as a boring person and walk away even though you were so eager to know them more. but the sad truth is that it is never their fault. it's people's nature. it has always been myself. i have always been my own enemy. i built a wall, so high that i myself could not even reach it. i tried to climb up, but i would fall down. again and again. i hit the wall so hard that my hands bleed. 'why can't i feel pain?' i stared at my fingers. fresh blood travellling down my arms, until they drop on the floor. one by one, more blood started to pour out onto the floor, a pool of blood collected under my feet. i can see myself in the reflection. i could not recognise myself. i could not see my face. 'why am i like this?' tears trickle down my face. i wiped them off. they were red. i wipe, and wipe, and wipe. but they kept on flowing...

'hey, you alright?' Faith's face was right in front of hers once again.

'i'm fine.' Sierra regained her composure. she did not even realise that she has spaced out for so long.