Outlaws in Time - Billy the Kid x !Reader

Chapter 9. Failure of a Man

You had insisted on giving Catherine a much-needed night off, noticing how she nearly collapsed from exhaustion while getting up from the dining room chair. Despite your protests, she insisted on at least helping you clean the dishes after dinner. You had to physically guide her to her room, for a woman who appeared so frail, she almost managed to overpower you in your brief tussle, before admitting defeat. You made a mental note not to engage in such battles once she regained her strength.

As you finished cleaning the last plate, Billy stumbled into the cabin, slumping down heavily onto a dining room chair.

"Welcome home Billy, you hungry?" You asked, yet he did not answer. You wiped off your wet hands on your skirt as you sat on a chair next to his. From this distance, you could smell the alcohol coming off from him. His face was flushed, sweat glistened on his forehead, and his unkempt hair obscured his eyes.

Have you been drinking?" you asked, brushing his hair away from his face. Billy took hold of your hand, causing you to flinch instinctively. He pressed your palm against his cheek and closed his eyes. He leaned into your hands and savored the touch, you couldn't help but blush at his unexpected display of affection, as he softly whispered your name.

"Billy?" You continued. Billy ceased his movement, opening his eyes to meet yours, his intense blue gaze holding you captive. He stared at you wordlessly, your expression remained shocked, yet your eyes softened at the sight of him,

"Would you marry a man like me?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

Your eyes widened in surprise. "What?" you uttered, uncertain if you had heard correctly. Billy maintained eye contact, his expression heavy with contemplation before he sighed and withdrew, releasing your hand as he averted his gaze towards the ceiling.

"A failure of a man like me," he murmured. "Uneducated, poor, and foolish."

"Why are you talking like this?" you asked, a hint of concern lacing your voice. Was it the alcohol making him emotional?

His gaze shifted back down to you, and another heavy sigh escaped him. "The mine closed down. No gold is to be found here. I was barely making enough before, and now it's certain there's no money."

"I'm sure you'll find another job," you offered, attempting to reassure him.

"And what if I don't?" he chuckled bitterly. "Depend on Ma and you? Until Ma passes and you leave me?"

"Don't say that," you interjected, your voice firm. "You have me—"

"Till I don't," he interrupted. "Tell me, do you love me? Would you marry me?" he asked, his tone almost pleading.

You hesitated, unsure of how to respond. While you cared deeply for Billy, love was a weighty word. And the idea of marriage never interests you, especially in a time not your own. What if you had a chance to return home? Would a marriage here hinder your desire to go back? Or what if it didn't? How selfish would it be to bind someone to you when you might leave them behind?

"You can't say it," he stated, defeat evident in his voice.

"The alcohol is talking. Let's get you to bed," you suggested, attempting to divert his attention. As you reached to help him up from the chair, he didn't budge, his gaze fixed on the floor.

"Would you marry me if I had more money? If I could take care of you?" he asked suddenly, his voice tinged with desperation.

"You're drunk," you replied firmly, trying once more to pull him up. But before you could react, Billy grabbed your hand and pulled you down, causing you to lose your balance and fall against the back of his chair, one hand finding purchase on his thigh as you struggled to steady yourself.