Just one dance

From the start

Age 3

"My goodness Josephine how many times do I have to tell you to stay on relevé?" Mother hits my feet again with her switch.

"Mommy, my feet hurts." It's true. The arch of my feet are starting to cramp. She wont let me use the bar to balance myself all I can do is keep going until I get it right.

"Come down Josephine."

Finally a break I can relax my feet.

Mommy crosses her arms over her chest and looks down at me with a disappointed look on her face. "Don't you want to be a dancer just like me?"

No. I want to do anything else besides this. I'm only three and I've been dancing ever since I could walk. It's not like I had a choice either. Mommy made me. She showed me videos of her dancing and expects me to be just like her.

This isn't my dream but I still found myself mumbling, "Yes. I want to be just like you."

"In order to do that you're gonna have to work for it. Alright go again."

And here we go again. Back on my tippy toes.

Age 8

"You came in second this weekend. That's unacceptable." Mother starts her rant. She hates when I come in second.

"It's because you're not hollowing your body in your turns. When you don't stay hollow you work harder than you need too." Here she goes with the correcting. Even if I would've won the competition she still would've found something wrong and correct me.

"Start turning and keep your body hollow. Don't stop until I tell you to."

So I did. I kept turning and turning, but eventually you get tired and have to stop. I know she said not to but I did anyways.

"Josephine why are you stopping I did not say to stop."

"I need a break mom." I pant out.

"Are you disrespecting me?"

No I'm not i just need a break why can't you see that.

"No ma'am."

Mom walks over to me with her switch in her hand. "Shoulders back," she hits my back with her switch which causes me to straighten up and let out a little hiss while doing so. "Hollow your stomach," she now hits my stomach. Almost immediately I hollow my belly. "Chin up," this time I didn't get hit but the switch went under my chin as she forcefully lifted it up. "And keep your supporting leg straight." She hits my left leg.

I let a little tear slip out of my eye but I try not to let it show because if I did she would put me through even more unbearable pain.

"Now do your turns."

And I go again.

Tears are actually falling down my cheek. The more I turn the more I feel myself crying and hurting.

My leg is stinging and my foot is hurting so badly. Every full 360 feels like I'm turning on concrete. I know I'm bleeding right now.