Just one dance

IV

A/n— this chapter contains a lot of talk about ED and body image so there is a trigger warning for this one.

It's been a week.

A week since regionals, a week since my mother, and a week since that night with Harry.

I've noticed that things between Harry and I have changed a bit since then.

We still argue but there's less anger involved. Actually, there's no anger involved at all. We just do it to mess with each other for fun I guess.

We've also kind of been hanging out around the house.

One day, while I was watching a movie in the living room, Harry came out of his room and sat with me.

That night I fell asleep with my head on his lap.

It's a good thing both Harry's and I room is in the basement. No one ever comes down there after 10pm, therefore no one will see if we happen to fall asleep out there again.

This evening is family night.

It's something my dad started with us after him and Sylvia got serious. Ever since then we go out once a month as a family. And because Harry moved in, he's "apart of this family," and has to attend family night.

Tonight we're going out for dinner, and I've been trying to not eat.

Those words my mother said still stick with me every day and night, but after one day of starving myself everyone realized and made me come up to eat for dinner.

That was a hard night.

I was holding back tear as I sat at the table and ate.

After dinner I went to the bathroom and threw up everything I ate.

It became a routine that after I eat I make myself throw it up. I know it's unhealthy but it works. I've already lost 15 pounds from it, and my face is getting slimmer. 

"Punch buggy, no punch backs." Alex says as he punch my arm.

"Ow, you bitch." I punch him back.

Now I'm going to have a bruise on my arm. He has to understand that he is waaay stronger than me

"Jo, watch your mouth." Dad says from the drivers seat.

I'm eighteen. Calm down.

"I'm just saying what he is. He punched me and now I'm going to have a gigantic bruise on my arm." I started to rub the arm Alex hit.

Geez it actually does fucking hurt.

"Stop whining, you'll be fine" Alex rolls his eyes.

"No I won't, because now, at my dance recital, everyone will look at the bruise you gave me." I complain. Every year before nationals we have a dance recital that's just for family and friends and the crowd decides who should win by who gave the best performance.

I am a dancer. My body is like a painting and a bruise is like an unwanted brush mark.

I hear Alex let out a long irritated sigh before saying. "Will stop being such a brat. No one cares about your dancing, that's why dad and Sylvia don't go."

"Okay, Alex enough." My dad says, trying to put a stop to the conversation.

I know Alex didn't mean what he said but it still hurts a bit to hear him say that.

"You're just mad I'm succeeding in my sport. Would you like me to remind everyone what happened with your hockey career?" I look at him with a raised eyebrow.