There's no way out

hello

Have you ever tried to hold your breath to see how long your body lets you until you can't hold it in anymore? The only thing I know about it, is that it happens in different situations for different reasons; sometimes we don't even notice. Occasionally it can even be a person, but I guess they just take your breath away. And maybe that could divulge itself to be a problem.

2am

I was staring at myself in the mirror, tears building in my eyes as I kept looking at the flaws. Everything about me was a flaw in my head. There wasn't a thing I could accept, not when I was alone. My head was spinning but I tried to stay still and try to find more imperfections. And believe me or not, I always find a ton, and today I found a bunch more.

''Do you even know what you're doing to yourself?''
''Is this what you really want? Spend your whole life trying to ruin it''...

That's what I always hear from the people I supposed would try to actually listen to what I'm saying, not just hear it. They just tryna make me go to rehab, but i won't go. Probably it's just the fear to change and go back to what was supposed to be my ''normal'' life by default. I really don't know.

My name is Carolina, I'm 16, and I really hope there's still time.

---